How To Effectively Develop Self-Confidence?

effectively develop self-confidence

The development of self-confidence begins properly with intelligent self-examination.

Pause for a moment… Do you examine yourself?

The mind must be closely scrutinized, checked undesirable tendencies, faults eradicated, and correct habits of thought and conduct firmly established.

To achieve the best results this personal overhauling, or house cleaning, should be thorough and fearless.

Fearful thought is a disease, to be diagnosed as carefully as any other illness.  It comes largely from perverted mental habits.

The mind is permitted habitually to dwell upon thoughts of doubt, failure, and inefficiency.

So great does this power become, when permitted to rule unchecked, that it affects to greater or less degree almost every act of one’s life.

The extremes to which a fearful person will sometimes go are as amusing as they are absurd.

People fear poverty, darkness, ridicule, microbes, insomnia, dogs, lightning, burglars, cold, solitude, marriage, Friday, lawyers, death, thirteen, accident, and ghosts.

The catalog of dreaded possibilities might include black cats, mice, ill luck, criticism, travel, disease, evil eyes, dreams, and old age.

It’s true there is legitimate and honest fear, like that of the young soldier who, upon being asked after his first battle how they felt, replied: “I was afraid I would be afraid, but I was not afraid.” 

It’s right and proper that one should fear to do a mean or cowardly thing, to injure another, or to commit any kind of wrong. This fear, however, instead of weakening personal character, imparts to it new and manly force.

So, acknowledge your fears, then know what to do with it. Will you let it stay with you? Will you let it go? Will you still have self-confidence in spite of the fears?


To walk straight up to the thing feared will often strip it of its terror. In one of the old fables we read that when man first beheld the camel its huge size caused him to flee in dreadful fear.

But later, observing the animal’s seeming gentleness, he approached him less timidly, and then, seeing the almost spiritless nature of the beast, he boldly put a bridle in his mouth and set a child to drive him. We can in like manner conquer fearful thoughts of the human mind.

Fear has well been called our most ancient enemy. Primitive humanity was unprotected against more powerful animals, and in those early days they had good reason to be fearful, but it is difficult to justify the widespread fear that exists today.

Thousands of persons can say truthfully:  “I have all my life feared things that never happened.”

The danger of this fearful attitude is that it frequently attracts that which is dreaded most, and the words of Job are literally fulfilled: “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”

We are told that one of the bravest of African chiefs was driven into a cold sweat of agonizing fear merely by the constant ticking of a watch.

If worry is due to lack of self-reliance, fear is an acknowledgment of inferiority.

It does not stand still, and unless throttled will gradually overwhelm its victim, making him at last “Like one, that on a lonesome road Doth walk in fear and dread, And having once turned round walks on, And turns no more his head; Because he knows a frightful fiend doth close behind him tread.”

Timidity is quickly recognized by the world, and not only argues an ignoble mind, as Virgil says, but actually invites pursuit and imposition.

John Foster observes in his splendid essay “On Decision of Character”: “Weakness, in every form, tempts arrogance; and a man may be allowed to wish for a kind of character with which stupidity and impertinence may not make so free. When a firm, decisive spirit is recognized, it is curious to see how the space clears around a man, and leaves him room and freedom. The disposition to interrogate, dictate, or banter, preserves a respectful and polite distance, judging it not unwise to keep the peace with a person of so much energy.”

It’s surprising how confidence breeds confidence. Courage in danger is sometimes half the battle, while self-reliance will often safeguard a person’s interests and give him an abiding sense of security.

It makes them feel equal to almost any undertaking, however difficult, leading them to think with Dryden They can conquer who believe they can.”

The building of self-confidence is not difficult, but it requires patience and intelligent effort. There should be no straining, no anxiety, and no haste.

The story of the person who tried to jump over a hill should be kept in mind.

He went a long way back, and then ran so hard toward the hill that when he got there, he was obliged to lie down and rest. Then, he got up and walked over the hill. Many men are always preparing, but never achieving.

It is said that with regard to any final or definite end, most people live without purpose, and without any fixed star to guide them.

Do not let it be you. Find your reason and live the life that you’re suppose to be.

So, as a writer has expressed it, “To him that knoweth not the port to which he is bound, no wind can be favorable; neither can he who has not yet determined at what mark he is to shoot, direct his arrow correctly.”

Indecision is a frequent cause of the fear. People hesitate to take a step one way or the other for fear that they might do the wrong thing, and this spirit of irresolution and hesitation often leads them into the very mistakes they would avoid.

It’s like a person on a bicycle, endeavoring to steer clear of an obstruction on the road, but all the while keeping his eye fastened upon it so that a collision is inevitable.

There is nothing more disastrous to success than lack of purpose. “He who hesitates is lost,” while he grows great who puts on “the dauntless spirit of resolution.”

The world generally accepts a person at his own value. If you give an impression that you are afraid, you will elbowed aside and imposed upon at almost every turn.

develop self-confidence

Here’s an illustration:

There was a dog leisurely pass a cat on the street, and to all appearance there was no ill feeling on either side. The cat looked him straight in the eye as they approached, and the dog returned her confident glance and quietly passed on.

Then the cat, seeing a good chance for escape, bolted across the street, but the instant the dog saw her running he turned and followed in hot haste.

It was cat and dog for some yards, when suddenly the cat stopped, humped her back and looked defiantly at her adversary. He stopped, caught his breath, blinked uncertainly, turned up his nose, and walked off.

As long as the cat showed fear and ran, the dog chased her. But the moment she took her stand, he respected her. When a person stands up boldly and self-confidently for their rights, fear slinks tremblingly into the shadows.

If you want to learn how to be self-confident, resolve to follow it to completion with bulldog tenacity. Realize that no weak-hearted, intermittent efforts will achieve your desired purpose.

Hold in your mind the supreme assurance that you can and will achieve this indispensable power, and your reward for your energy and perseverance will be great!

30 Strategies To Develop Self-Confidence

Try these strategies to boost your confidence

  1. Stick up for yourself.

Instead of allowing others to overpower you, stand up for your rights and your beliefs.


  1. Believe in yourself.

Make an extra effort to look at yourself in the mirror and truly believe that you can accomplish anything.


  1. Ask for help.

Seek help from others when you’re struggling. Draw from the expertise of others when you lack the knowledge you need. The ability to admit you need help is a sign of strength.


  1. Pick a new outfit.

Concentrate on your appearance. If you feel that you look good, you’ll begin to feel more confident with yourself on the inside as well.


  1. Think positive thoughts.

Challenge yourself to think positive thoughts each and every day. If you stay positive, confidence will come.


  1. Stop negative thoughts.

When negative thoughts enter your mind, notice them and replace them with more productive ones. Dwell on thoughts that lead you to success.


  1. Prepare yourself.

Sometimes, a lack of confidence comes from lack of preparation. Ensure you properly prepare yourself for the challenges you face.


  1. Focus on the smaller things.

Tackle one thing at a time in a step-by-step manner. Little by little, each success you experience builds a reservoir of confidence inside you.


  1. Express gratitude.

Express gratitude for the things that are important to you. You’ll experience renewed energy and enthusiasm.


  1. Take control.

Choose to seize the steering wheel, instead of sitting in the passenger seat. Instead of letting life happen to you, live your life with purpose. Pretend you’re confident and the feelings will follow.


  1. Get to know yourself.

Delve deep and find out who you are. You’ll be able to point out and work on your weaknesses better. Your strengths will give you confidence.


  1. Engage in a kind act.

Do what you can to bring about more joy in the lives of others and enjoy the feeling it gives you.


  1. Practice.

Practice makes perfect. If you’re struggling at a task, keep trying until you get it right. This may take time but the effort is worth it.


  1. Relax.

When you feel pressured to accomplish too much at once, slow down and take a few breaths. Sometimes, all it takes to feel confident is a few seconds to relax and refocus your mind.


  1. Smile more frequently.

Put a smile on your face and you’ll be surprised at how you end up feeling as a result.


  1. Look at the big picture.

Keep the bigger picture in mind as you attempt the trials of life. It will keep you from getting caught up on the smaller issues that detract from the important ones.


  1. Concentrate on your self-image.

Everyone has both strengths and weaknesses. Find out what you like about yourself and focus on enhancing those characteristics


  1. Change your behavior.

If you’re feeling down on yourself, change your approach. Continue to change your approach until you start getting the results you deserve.


  1. Fight boredom.

Sometimes a lack of confidence is simply a sign that it’s time to leave your comfort zone in favor of something more exciting.


  1. Strive for excellence instead of perfection.

If you continue to try your best and change your approach when things seem to be headed in the wrong direction, your confidence will grow naturally.


  1. Accept compliments.

Learn how to accept compliments. People are likely being genuine with you and telling you what your strengths are.


  1. Try hypnosis.

Hypnosis is a great way of communicating with your subconscious mind. Program your subconscious with productive thinking about your capabilities and strengths.


  1. Start the day right.

Get everything off to the right start by getting into a positive mood right from the beginning of the day. Plan your day the night before and develop a morning routine. Get enough rest and eat a healthy breakfast.


  1. Fake it.

Go through the motions of confidence even when you feel down in the dumps. You’ll be surprised how much more confident you feel when you pretend that you are.


  1. Talk to yourself.

Use positive self-talk to boost your confidence. Use personal, positive, present-tense affirmations that speak words of encouragement to your heart and mind.


  1. Find a physical activity you enjoy doing.

Whether it is jogging, aerobics, or yoga, exercise is a sure-fire way to boost your self-confidence.  If you are starting to feel low, take 15 minutes out of your day to exercise your worries away.


  1. Take a second to be silly whether you need a hearty belly laugh or a moment to dance by yourself.

A second is enough time to feel good about yourself again.  Many websites will send jokes to your inbox on a daily or weekly basis.  Sign up for this free service and open the e-mail when you are feeling low.  There is nothing like a good laugh to remind yourself what a great person you are.

Put on your favorite song and dance like there is no tomorrow.   In addition to easing your stress, your self-confidence will shoot through the roof as the music brings back favorite memories.


  1. Allow yourself a luxury.

Remind yourself you are important and worthy of the world on a silver platter.  When things are not going your way and you begin to question yourself, take time to reward yourself.  Whether it is a chocolate kiss or a pat on the back, your spirits-and self-esteem-will be lifted.


  1. Write down your goals that you have achieved and look back at them when you are feeling low.

Maybe you were the first person to graduate from college in your family.  Perhaps you just closed on a fantastic house.  Maybe you made president of your organization.

Whatever your accomplishment, allow yourself a minute to remind yourself of your worth.

Keep of your family and friends to remind yourself all these people are rooting for you to succeed. Make yourself notes that congratulate yourself on handling a situation or completing a goal.


  1. Make the necessary means to rid the guilt, learn from your actions, and move on.

Learn from your mistakes as the old adage goes, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Acknowledge where you made your mistake and forgive yourself. That constant nagging guilt will ruin your self-esteem.

Think of mistakes as happy accidents or learning experiences.

However, you choose to boost your self-confidence, know that by doing so you approve of yourself as a person.  Allowing issues to get you down will only lower your self-confidence further.

By keeping a positive attitude, you will have the ability to turn around unsavory situations and make them positive ones.  Keep in mind you are a worthy person who has a bright future.



What hinders you to develop your self-confidence?

What are your fears? An how are you going to deal with them?

Have you check the strength or the level of your self-reliance?

Do you have enough patience and willingness to exert intelligence effort to develop your self-confidence?

Are you decisive?

What are your strategies to develop your self-confidence?



How To Stay Motivated To Reach Your Goals?

how to stay motivated_c


A lot of individuals are guilty of attempting to undertake their goals utilizing a series of trial and error approaches.

They arbitrarily throw their energy out there with all their might on the few steps they acknowledge, believing that this will get them to their destination.

They handle their goals in a hit-or-miss approach, and then hope that everything will turn for the better ultimately.

Although it might work in the short-term and on littler goals, it doesn’t work with huge, long-run goals.

For instance, you might get away with dropping off 5 lbs. of weight by simply eating less and working out more, but to drop off additional weight and sustain that weight loss calls for proper strategy.

staying motivated

The Basics

A lot of individuals have this misconceived notion of goal accomplishment as they only come into contact with the events of others’ goals.

They’re not tangled in all the thought-processes, intricacies and literal planning that went into the accomplishment of those goals.

Have a look at Olympians. They don’t win their medals because they merely blindly train daily. There are a lot of things that happen behind the scenes, like training by the most beneficial coaches, suitable diets, self-help courses to put them in the correct mindset, studying the correct techniques, and so forth.

Microsoft didn’t get to where it is today because of luck. It was by conscious strategizing and preparation that allowed the company to carve its particular niche in the market.

Stay Motivated

Motivation makes you feel as though you’re full of life and ready to accomplish anything you have to in order to accomplish the goals that you’ve set for yourself.

Motivation…we’re all giving chase to it, but few of us comprehend it, or why we lose it first of all.

What is implied by motivation?

Motivation is the innate desire to accomplish a goal, blended with the passion and vitality to work towards accomplishing that goal.

People who are motivated have a want to take on fresh ventures and satisfy the requirements essential to finish the undertaking.

Motivation is a characteristic that we all need in order to accomplish anything in our lives.

Without motivation, we’d all merely give up at the slimmest inclination of hardship. Motivation is the initiator that inspires and encourages us to be our finest.

Somebody who’s motivated will do anything it takes to be successful in accomplishing their goals. Motivation may alter your life by inspiring you to get everything you wish out of life, regardless what others try to tell you.

It’s possible for somebody who’s stricken by poverty to become motivated and turn everything around into a life of abundance.

Motivation provides us the passion that we require to start exploring our options in life as well as the bravery to see these aspirations through to reality.

If you’re distressed with your present situation, it’s most likely due to the fact that your present situation doesn’t motivate you.

You have to take it upon yourself to determine what it is that you really want out of life. Consider the type of life-style that you wish to lead and the sort of career you wish.

When you know what makes you happy and alter your life center, you’ll be excited to leap out of bed each morning.

woman-effects of stress

Why we drop off our motivation:

3 basic factors lead to the loss of our motivation, they are:

1. Deficiency of direction. You won’t be motivated to accomplish your goals if you don’t understand what those goals are.

2. Deficiency of self-confidence. Trusting you’ll fail is the best way to see to it.

3. Deficiency of focus. Not recognizing what it is that you wish will lead to wondering if you even wish anything at all.


Hints on how to remain motivated:

If you lack motivation, you likewise lack ambition, exuberance and zest. Motivations makes you feel as though you’re full of life and prepared to do anything you have to in order to accomplish the goals that you’ve set for yourself.

When you discover your motivation, you’ll be more pleased, you’ll have more vitality and you’ll be able to see the favorable results clearly in your brain.

You have to enhance the motivation inside you and waken your inner power to push yourself in the direction of accomplishing your aspirations, regardless how great or small they might be.

Here are a couple hints to help you discover your motivation and hang on to it:

1. Arrange goals. If you arrange goals for yourself, discovering the motivation to accomplish those goals will come easier.

2. Complete everything you begin. Make a promise to yourself that regardless what occurs, you have to always arrive at the finish line.

3. Unify with like minds. Favorable attitudes appear to be contagious. Encircle yourself with like-minded individuals who have the motivation that you seek.

4. Don’t postpone for tomorrow what you are able to get accomplished today. If you dilly-dally, you’ll get lazy, and lose all motivation to succeed.

5. Never quit. Patience and doggedness to keep going and remain strong regardless what comes along will provide you the motivation you require to succeed.

6. Perpetually remind yourself that you are able to win. Envision your goals and how pleased you’ll be when you’ve everything you wish.

7. Start with visualizing your future success and model the feelings you’ll experience when you achieve it.

8. Mentally walk the path towards this success and base your feelings at different milestones on the way.

9. Assign a high priority to each task that you must achieve which will give each task a priority in your mind.

10. Set a target for the amount of work you will do each day toward your goals.

11. Visualize the desired outcome: Create a picture of what the desired outcome will look like, and have this vision in your mind at all times.

12. Set milestones of the things you like to do and the things that you are good at.

13. Use visual indicators to monitor progress and complete the task.

14. Give yourself affirmations to remind yourself of how capable you are at reaching your goals.

15. Watch movies that motivate you.

16. Listen to music that motivates you.

17. If you work better with competition, make a deal with a friend or family member to compete for the goal for example who gets there first! It can be hypothetical and doesn’t necessarily have to be for real

18. Get help and support from people around you or from a professional in the field for example a personal trainer, finance manager and others.

19. Define your own version of success. Don’t let others define success for you.

20. Ignore any negative influences or responses to your efforts.

21. Make a conscious effort to do better than you have ever done in the past.

22. Focus on the positive achievements and not the negatives.

23. Share your successes with others as this will keep you focused and help you voice your accomplishments which will realize your achievements for you.

24. Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses and work on them both.

25. Train yourself to finish what you start by refusing to quit until you are done.

26. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes and don’t punish yourself for making them. Express your goals in a positive way. That is a key component to setting goals that you can attain.

stay motivated to reach your goals_q


How To Overcome Negative Thoughts To Boost Self Esteem?

overcome negative thoughts_c


Are you looking for ways to boost your self-esteem? Then, how about going back to the way you think? Are your thoughts mostly positive or negative? With that, let’s find out how to overcome those negative thoughts.

Dispel Fears for a More Positive Outlook

Fears and phobias are something which can have an effect on anyone to some extent, while many can conquer their fear and most fears and phobias are unlike more than actual phobias.

For some people, fear and phobia can be severely distressing and have a huge impact on their day-to-day living.

Fear and phobias obviously cause negativity and constant negativity gets you down, while some phobias and fear can be deep-seeded you can break the hold it has over you with time and help.

There are various methods of help, and the more deeply seeded the fear or phobia, the more likely professional help may be advised in the form of a therapy or hypnotherapy. If the fear is only mild then you may overcome it by using self-help methods.

Understanding Fears and Phobias

In order to be able to conquer fears and phobias it is essential that you understand them, fear and phobia simply causes us uncomfortable thoughts and feelings when placed in certain situations.

It can bring feelings such as nausea, vomiting, dizziness, a terrible feeling, a tight band of pressure around the head, pains in the chest, a feeling of breathlessness and trembling.

These are all feelings that you yourselves allow building up and taking over your mind and body. Dispelling fear is a matter of taking back control and putting things into perspective.

This is the basis behind curing any form of fear or phobia although if you suffered for many years it will take longer for you to recover, recovery is possible.

Phobias and fears are basically exaggerated anxiety, and learning methods and ways to relax is a good start to curing fear and phobias.

There are many self-help books, online programs, courses and audio courses that can help you make a start, any self-help material designed for dealing with anxiety and stress will help but there are many specifically aimed at those suffering from fear and phobia.

Benefits of Overcoming the Fear

The benefits of dealing with and overcoming phobia and fear is immense and those who have recovered and overcome their fears and phobias have likened it to being reborn again, the world takes on new meaning when fears are dispelled.

A new positive outlook develops which leads to living a happier and more fulfilled life, you start to feel good about yourself and what you can accomplish in life, you are finally free to do anything and everything that your heart desires.

While there might still occasionally be some anxiety for a time when confronted by your fear or phobia, it will be unlike the intense fear that once had you incapacitated from it.

Once you have realized that the key to overcoming these feelings is inside you, the fear you feel doesn’t have the same hold on you it once did and will eventually give up its hold on you altogether.

Overcome Detachment

Dissociation or disconnection causes us problems with your emotions, physical sensations and how you feel about yourselves as well as the world around you.

It is often associated with depression and anxiety or when a person has gone through a traumatic experience.

People suffering from dissociation offer have feelings of unreality and often fear they are going insane or that they have some incurable illness.

Talking with and being around others becomes almost impossible and deep anxiety that is caused by the feelings can develop into a social phobia.

The feeling of dissociation can vary from person to person depending on the circumstances that brought it about, but common thoughts and feelings associated with disassociation include:

  • The world around feels unreal
  • Not belonging in the world
  • A grey fog covering their vision
  • Like having a veil over your head
  • The world is moving at a faster pace than normal
  • Confusion
  • A terrible feeling of not being able to cope
  • Unsure of yourself
  • Others find happiness but not you
  • Extreme anxiety
  • Feelings that everyone is against you
  • Feelings that everyone is talking about you

These are just some of the feelings caused by disassociation and these feelings eventually cause the sufferer to believe that they have to turn deeper inward to themselves in order to get back into reality.

They continually watch themselves for any brief glimpse that reality as they knew it is returning, of course the more they turn inward and worry the worse the symptoms are.

Cognitive behavioral therapy can help those suffering to overcome feelings of dissociation particularly when the cause is severe trauma.

Those suffering from dissociation due to anxiety and stress may be able to rid themselves of the feelings through self-help methods and the help and understanding of a doctor.

It is important to remember that the world hasn’t actually changed, it is only your perception of the world and those around you that has really changed and these are only temporary thoughts and feelings you are having.

Once you have conquered and overcome what is causing the feelings of dissociation you will see things as you once used to.

For those who suffer from feelings of dissociation due to depression and anxiety they should realize that the feelings are just that, no more than feelings and these feelings will leave in time.

It is important not to be constantly studying them and wondering when they will go, try to accept that they are here for a time and give them no more thought.

Once you have lost some interest in your feelings and are not constantly worrying about them it can be surprising how quickly the world once again becomes the world you once knew.

Accepting your feelings and any thoughts you might have during this period is essential, for it is only when you lose fear of the situation can you recover.


Overcome Doubt

Overcoming doubt is easy, if you don’t doubt it, of course.  However, many entertain an element of doubt in their minds about being successful whenever they try something new.

In fact, almost everyone is in some way plagued with doubt of some kind.  Take science, for example.

Do you think all the scientific advancement achieved would have been possible without questioning the prevailing assumptions at the beginning?

Suppose you want to start a business or launch a novel project. Are you absolutely sure that it will succeed?

There is always a little fear or doubt at the beginning.

Despite your doubt, you cannot let it keep you from your ultimate goal. The reason is simple. You must be prepared to risk failure because it is important for overcoming doubt.

Dive right in to whatever it is without making rash decisions.  Don’t worry, you won’t dive in without the right gear.

You will analyze all of the possible consequences of your situation and you will embrace the outcome, whatever it may be.  This is the secret to conquering doubt.  Have courage to fight it out and you are sure to defeat it.

Belief is the enemy of doubt. Learn to think positively and believe in your ability to be successful. Remember you will succeed if you think you will and you will fail if you think that too.

Your thoughts are self-fulfilling prophecies so you must stop thinking negatively. Likewise, never pay heed to the people who discourage you, who revel in planting doubts in you and who are actually wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Always be in the company of those people whose thoughts and attitudes to life in general are positive.

When Failure Strikes

You probably won’t be fortunate to never experience failure in your life.  However, you must understand that it is part of life.  These are the times when failure fills your mind with doubt and it is hard to muster the confidence you built up earlier in the process.

You can’t let go of your commitment, no matter how shaken you are by failure.  In fact, any setback should only prompt you to double your resolve to make another attempt at reaching your goal.

In order for this to happen, train your mind to build your self-control and self-confidence.  Every step towards self-confidence helps get rid of doubt and you will be back to your successful ways once again.

Healthy Doubt

Remember some amount of doubt can always be helpful in gaining wisdom or achieving advancement in life.

But when it becomes a cause for your depression and inactivity or when it stands like an insurmountable hurdle in your way to reach your destination, draw upon your energy reserves that can toughen up your mind.

You have to strengthen your will to succeed at all costs and weaken doubt by all possible means, so that you will lead a life of fulfillment.

You may succeed because of your doubt or in spite of your doubt. Or, you may have to accept the inevitable and compromise with whatever worst-case scenario that presents itself.

If this happens, just change course, re-energize your cylinders and start afresh on your revised path. Defeat doubt before it defeats you.

stress_emotional wellness

Overcome Feelings of Helplessness

We all come across feelings of helplessness to some degree or another sometime during our life, this is fine as long as we get back on track and overcome these feelings.

However for some, feelings of helplessness set in and begin to affect our way of thinking and life.

Here are some helpful tips to help you understand those feelings of helplessness and how to overcome them.

  • Begin by identifying the problems, fears, issues and obstacles which make you feel helpless and try to discover why they make you feel this way
  • Work on ways that encourage you to take on new beliefs that you can be independent, self-confident and are capable of dealing with anything that crops up in the future
  • Learn ways to deal with these feelings of helplessness when they crop up
  • Practice ways to deal with conflicts and problem solving when they arise
  • If you have relapse and begin to doubt again remember that this is only normal and pick back up from where you left off
  • Whatever the success however small be sure to reward yourself
  • Realize that it will take time to change our feelings of helplessness so always strive towards your goals.
  • Don’t aim for perfection all the time, no one is perfect we all make mistakes
  • Identify what you need to do to grow in the skills of self-coping, self-healing and self-confidence

Feelings of helplessness can cause us many problems in life, the longer you feel helpless, the less control you have over your own life.

Here are some common experiences that occur through helplessness.

  • You begin to feel that no matter what you do or how hard you try you cannot succeed in life
  • You become over dependent on others around you to help you overcome your problems
  • You see yourself as totally incompetent
  • You develop a deep seated fear that you are unable to handle a situation
  • You become miserable, unhappy in life and depression sets in
  • You think of yourself as a victim that always needs rescuing from situations
  • You have a pessimistic outlook on life in general
  • You are afraid others see you as being frail and weak
  • You become despondent because you run out of people who are willing to look after you by solving your problems
  • You resign yourself to the fact that you will always be helpless, that you cannot possibly change

There are many ways you can help yourself overcome these feelings, the important thing to remember is that you are not alone and you can take back control over your life and make important decisions again to successfully solve your problems.

All you need is to have faith in yourself and dig deep and find that faith and bring it to the surface.

While we all have the ability to overcome our problems ourselves, it doesn’t hurt to get advice from friends and relatives as long as you aren’t relying on them totally to solve your problems for you.



Dispel Fears For A More Positive Outlook
Understanding Fears And Phobias
Phobias and fears are basically exaggerated anxiety, and learning methods and ways to relax is a good start to curing fear and phobias.

Benefits Of Overcoming The Fear
– likened to being born again
– new positive outlook
– start to feel good
– free to do anything and everything

Overcome Detachment or Dissociation
Detachment or dissociation is often associated with depression and anxiety or when a person has gone through a traumatic experience.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Remember that the world hasn’t actually changed
Overcome the cause
Accept your feelings and any thoughts

Overcome Doubt
– be prepared to risk failure
– dive in to whatever it is without making rash decisions
– have the courage to fight it out
– belief is the enemy of doubt

When Failure Strikes
– understand failures as part of life
– you can’t let go of your commitment
– train your mind to build your self-control and self-confidence

Healthy Doubt
– strengthen your will to succeed
– accept the inevitable
– compromise with whatever worst-case scenario

Overcome Feelings Of Helplessness
– take back control over your life
– make important decisions again to successfully solve your problems
– have faith in yourself
– dig deep
– find that faith



Do you have any negative thoughts? If so, what are they?

How do you overcome these negative thoughts?

How will you overcome fears?

How will you overcome detachment?

How will you overcome doubt?

How will you overcome feelings of helplessness?



What Are The Basics Of Learning Self-Hypnosis?

learning self-hypnosis_c


Hypnosis is a proven method of deep relaxation that is used for creating inner changes in our thoughts, emotions and behaviors. It is also a medically recognized tool for controlling pain and reducing stress.

The most common form of hypnosis these days is self-hypnosis. This is a self-induced state of deep relaxation attained by either listening to a recording or by bringing yourself into a trance.

It is fairly easy to learn self-hypnosis and, as with everything else in life, “practice makes perfect!”  The key is to take it easy. Approach the subject with playfulness.

Do not try too hard to enter into trance for this defeat the whole purpose of hypnosis. You are going to learn how to bring yourself into a profoundly relaxed state and trying to force it to happen only makes you tense and has the reverse effect.

How To Perform Self-Hypnosis?

A major part in the art of self-hypnosis is learning to let the hypnotic state takeover by itself. Try not to analyze what is happening.

When you keep the conscious mind engaged in analyzing you will find it hard to go from the beta brainwave state (conscious waking decision making) to the alpha brainwave state (the deeply relaxed state of light trance where most hypnosis subjects stay). Just allow yourself to relax.

It is your body’s natural state to relax when you perform certain mental and physical actions, so don’t fight it by trying to figure out how or why it is happening.

Do not get discouraged or think nothing is happening if you don’t feel much change at first or if progress appears to be slow.

After some practice you will find entering a state of self-induced trance become easy and natural as you teach your body and mind to relax.

Don’t expect to be an expert right off the bat! Expecting yourself to be as good as Paul McKenna or Dick Sutphen on your first attempt is setting yourself up for frustration.

It takes time to learn hypnosis and unless you are truly fortunate it will take time to teach your body and mind to let go and enter this state effortlessly – but it will happen.

Remember that there are various ways to experience hypnosis and no two people will experience trance in exactly the same way. Expect your experience to be the same as someone else’s!

It is a good idea to set aside a regular time to practice your new skills. Give yourself the gift of 15 to 30 minutes every day or every other day to practice self-hypnosis.

Make sure you will not be disturbed and that your environment is quiet. You may be surprised that you do not actually get sleepy or fall asleep during hypnosis, although the body does enter into that type of relaxed posture.

You may find that initially you tend to fall asleep while practicing self-hypnosis. If this happens just practice at an earlier time when you are less fatigued until you perfect the technique. If falling asleep is still a problem then practices it while sitting in an upright chair.

Before you begin, set an intention for the session. Do you want more confidence, higher self-esteem, the perfect relationship or an improvement in your finances? You will now use one of two techniques which will be used as post hypnotic suggestions.

Create some positive affirmations that state you are already they you wish to be or you are already in possession of your desire and memorize them.

If this seems like too much work then just imagine you already have your desire and make a mental movie of it.

See yourself experiencing it as if it were happening now. You will use one of these techniques when you enter trance to reprogram your subconscious mind!

Begin by sitting or lying comfortably. Keep your head straight, pointing forward, but look up at a spot on the wall – do not bend your neck.

Your eyes should be looking slightly up. Breathe in to the count of five and out to the count of five. This will cause your body to let go of tensions and stresses. Now, curl your toes on both feet and tense them while you inhale to the count of five.

Now relax on your exhale to the count of five. Move up to your legs. Tense them and relax. Keep breathing in to the count of five and out to the count of five. Now tense your whole pelvic and buttock region. And relax. All the time breathing deeply.

Move up to your stomach, then your chest, neck, face and head, repeating the tensing and relaxing procedure while breathing deeply. Allow your eyes to close naturally at any time during this relaxation exercise. You will find that within a very short period of time it takes more and more effort to keep them open.

Once your eyes are shut and you have relaxed your entire body, imagine that you are at the top of a winding dark staircase with ten steps. Keep breathing deeply to the count of five.

Move down to the first step, noticing that you can only see a few steps ahead of you as the rest are shrouded in a calm still darkness.

Mentally say the word 10. Now move to the next step and mentally say 9. Then, the next saying 8. Move progressively down the steps until you reach the bottom.

During this exercise you can allow your breathing to return to normal or keep the deep breathing up if you prefer.

Once you have reached the bottom imagine there is a large wooden door in front of you walk towards it and open it. On the other side you find a moving escalator going down. Move onto it and feel it bringing you down, down, down. Deeper, deeper, down.

When you reach the bottom imagine you can walk slightly forward until you find yourself in a quiet relaxing setting. Just let it appear. It may be a garden, a beach, a forest or a favorite place from childhood. It could be anywhere.

Just allow your subconscious mind to show you where you are. Relax in whatever way seems appropriate to you in that special place.

At this stage you can mentally give yourself post hypnotic suggestions in the form of “I am….”, or “I allow____ to enter my life with ease” and the likes.

If you prefer not to have to remember mentally spoken instructions then recall your visualization and place yourself inside it!

This is important see the scene through YOUR eyes as though it were a memory. Do not visualize yourself in the scene the way you would see another person. Experience it from your perspective. Do this for as long as it is enjoyable.

Once you have finished and are ready to return to normal waking consciousness, simply count back from 10 to 1 and mentally say “wide awake, wide awake”.

Stretch, give yourself a few seconds to re-adjust to your surroundings and then go about your daily activities.

You will find this short exercise in self-hypnosis most beneficial, rejuvenating and life-altering!

learn self-hypnosis_1

learn self-hypnosis_q


How To Develop Your Imagination?

develop your imagination_c

Every great work in the world first has its place in the human imagination.  If a man is about to build a bench, he first pictures in his own mind the kind of bench it should be.

Similarly, the painter, architect, contractor, or manufacturer, traces in his imagination an image of that which they would produce.

The imagination, then, is a gallery in which you hang pictures, both of what you have done and what you intend to do.

You may not always turn these pictures into realities at once, but they are there to interest and encourage you and to come to our aid when needed.

Upon one occasion Webster used, in one of his speeches, an illustration that he had carried in his imagination for fifteen years.

Beecher, who was endowed with an unusually vivid imagination, placed this faculty first in importance in the making of a preacher.

They affirmed that a man with a trained imagination could not possibly wear out or become uninteresting to his congregation, and asked pertinently:

“Did you ever hear anybody say that spring has been worn out? It has been coming for thousands of years, and it is just as sweet, just as welcome, and just as new, as if the birds sang for the first time; and so it will be for a thousand years to come.”

If it’s important that a man have a clear and accurate image of what his material product is to be, how much more important is it that they have a picture of the character and life he is building.

Indeed, imagination should not be taken for granted, because it is essential in developing ourselves, our lives and even our reality.

It has well been said that no man ever made his mark in the world who did not have a master passion for something.

When a boy is scribbling a picture on paper and in answer to your question tells you he doesn’t know what it is going to be, you feel sure it will not amount to much.

When you ask a youth what line of work he intends to follow, and he replies that he has not yet made up his mind, you begin to fear for his success.

But what will you say to a man who at thirty, forty, and even fifty, has not determined what his life’s ambition is, to what ultimate goal they is working?

The fact, that less than five percent of men succeed in being attributed to this aimless, hit-or-miss way of living one’s life.

In the imagination, you find again much of the difference between the timid and self-confident man. One pictures defeat and failure, the other sees himself as successful and influential.

One person thinks of all the ways in which they will fail, imprints them upon his mind, places them in the gallery of his imagination, to haunt him day and night.

The other person thinks of one way in which they will succeed. Sketches himself as a strong, noble, courageous character, places the picture before his mind’s eye, and delights in it by day and dreams of it by night.

Fear is nowhere else more destructive than in the imagination. It is often a greater enemy than the thing feared.

Maybe, you have heard of the soldier, a prisoner who was experimented upon many years ago, blindfolded and then told he was bleeding to death, while merely water was trickling from his arm.

When subsequently examined he was found to be dead, although not the slightest injury had been done to his body.

The fear had so completely possessed him that he believed he was actually bleeding to death.  Fear sometimes rises from over-caution, but frequently it is the result of selfishness.

William James puts it in a strong, appealing way when he says:

”The attitude of unhappiness is not only painful, it is mean and ugly. What can be more base and unworthy than the pining, puling, grumpy mood, no matter by what outward ills it may have been caused by? What is more injurious to others? We ought to scout it in ourselves and others, and never show it tolerance.”

Physicians tell us that nine-tenths of the ills of their patients are imaginary. In many instances a placebo pill is all that’s necessary to affect a complete cure.

Perhaps, you know of persons who think themselves born under an unlucky star, or pursued by some unhappy fate. Their imagination is crowded with pictures of the direful things that will surely happen to them sooner or later.

They reproach themselves for physical weakness, lack of memory, want of ambition, fear of failure, inability to attract friends, or other shortcomings.

Instead of resolutely setting out to develop themselves, they exhaust their remaining powers in useless regrets.

They’re like the people described in medical literature, utterly unable to initiate a single thing on their own behalf.

“A negative man,” it says, “too suddenly ejected from his long-accustomed groove, where, like a toad embedded in the rock, he had made his niche exactly fitting to his own shape, presents a wretched picture of helplessness and unshiftiness.

His friends suggest this or that independent endeavor; he shakes his head, and says he can’t—it won’t do; what he wants is a place where he is not obliged to depend on himself, where he has to do a fixed amount of work for a fixed amount of salary, and where his spineless attitude may find a mold ready formed, into which it may run without the necessity of forging shapes for itself. 

Many a man of respectable intellectual powers has gone down to ruin, and died miserably, because of his negativity, which made it impossible for him to break new ground, or to work at anything whatsoever, with the stimulus of hope only. 

He must be bolstered up by certainty, supported by the walls of his groove, or else he can do nothing; and if he can’t get into his friendly groove, he lets himself drift into destruction. Negative people never to be depended upon, their very central quality being fluidity, which is a bad thing to rest on.”

meditating-calm the mind

Few people realize how important a part imagination plays in the every-day matters of life. A businessman endeavors to give a prospective customer a mental picture of his products, or of what they will do for him.

The physician holds before his patient an image of what they will be and can do when well. The politician describes the condition of things as they would be if he is elected.

The public speaker illuminates and illustrates his subject chiefly by means of the imagination. So, in every human activity the order is first the mental picture, then the act.

Only second in importance to the image-making faculty is that of initiative, or the power of originality.

Many business and professional men acknowledge that, had they known what difficulties awaited them, they could not have gone forward so hopefully.

But, they just couldn’t bring themselves to turn back once they had put their hand to the plow.

The story of almost every successful man would be a recital of uphill work at first, with many obstacles to be met and overcome, disappointments to be bravely borne, new resolutions of determination made at the beginning of each day.

There are a thousand imitators to one who can originate. A man who is constantly watching to see what others are doing in order to steal their thunder, is not true to himself nor developing his best faculties.

Nothing could be more humbling to a person than the inner realization that they are a mere copycat, a make-believe.

You should avail yourselves, it is true, of the experience and ideas of others, and frankly acknowledge your indebtedness to them, but you cannot rightly call this material your own until you have put it through your mental process and stamped it with your individuality.

you are what you believe

Take to heart these inspiring words of Emerson:

“Insist on yourself; never imitate.  Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession.

That which each can do best, none but the Maker can teach him. No man yet knows what it is, nor can, till that person has exhibited it. 

Where is the master who could have taught Shakespeare? Where is the master who could have instructed Franklin, or Washington, or Bacon, or Newton? Every great man is unique.

The Scipionism of Scipio is precisely that part they could not borrow. Another Shakespeare will never be made by the study of Shakespeare.

Do that which is assigned you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much. 

There is at this moment for you an utterance brave and grand as that of the colossal chisel of Phidias, or trowel of the Egyptians, or the pen of Moses or Dante, but different from all these.

Not possibly will the soul, all rich, all eloquent, with thousand-cloven tongue, deign to repeat itself; but if you can hear what these patriarchs say, surely you can reply to them in the same pitch of voice; for the ear and the tongue are two organs of one nature.

Abide in the simple and noble regions of thy life, obey thy heart and thou shalt reproduce the foreworld again.”

When Shakespeare says, “To thine own self be true,” he indicates the way to originality.

Let a person first place in the gallery of his imagination only such images as he would care to see materialized in his life, an important skill to develop.

Then let him go bravely forth, resolved to make these a living reality, and by full use of originality, initiative, and courage, wins an enduring place among successful men and women.

Now, let’s extend this even further, what about creative imagination?

Creative Imagination

Creative imagination is more than just active imagination. To be able to actively imagine things, to see and hear things in one’s mind, is an important ability.

It doesn’t have to involve much creativity, though, does it? Daydreaming, for example, is a process of imagination.

It can consist of an elaborate fantasy world, but one full of all the things that many people think about.

Creative imagination, then, has to include the ability not just to imagine things, but to imagine original things.

It is seeing things that others don’t see, and coming up with new ideas. So how do you cultivate this?

First, exercise your basic imagination. It can be as simple as thinking in pictures more, or listening to music in your mind. Play little “movies” in your mind, until you can watch them on command.

This is a simple process, but for those of us that can’t easily do it naturally, it can take a lot of practice. Fortunately, it is not an unpleasant activity.

The second part of developing your creative imagination is to get more creative in your thinking and imagining. Start by paying attention to your creativity.

Your subconscious minds give us more of what we pay attention to. Ignore creative aspects of your life, and you’re telling your subconscious they are unimportant.

On the other hand, if you note when you’re creative, your subconscious mind will start feeding you more creative ideas.

Different surroundings can also encourage your creativity. Want more creativity in your love life? Hike up a mountain with your partner. Do you write? Try sitting on a roof to write.

Want new ideas for your business? Take a notebook to the park and sit by the duck pond. A change of environment can get your thinking out of its ruts.

You can play games that exercise your creative imagination. One such game uses a technique called “concept combination.” Alone or with other players, you combine random concepts or things in new ways, to see who has the best idea.

A thermometer and a billboard, for example, could generate an idea for a sign that checks the weather and adjusts the message accordingly (“Come in out of the heat for a cold beverage,” or “Come in out of the rain and warm up with our gourmet coffee.”).

Many great things have started as a simple, creative idea. Consider donating some of your best ideas to help others.

Remember this, the more creative you are, the more ideas you will be able to create. You can be creative even if you don’t think you are.

Being creative and thinking up world-changing ideas occurs in the same way. Everyone can be creative but they have to be willing to start. The creative process will then become more natural over time.



How to develop your imagination?

  • Have a clear and accurate image
  • Have a picture of the character and life
  • Realize that imagination is important
  • Resolve to make your imagination a living reality

Creative Imagination

  • Exercise your basic imagination
  • Get more creative in your thinking and imagining
  • Different surroundings can also encourage your creativity
  • You can play games that exercise your creative imagination.


– From 1 to 10, 10 as the highest, how do you rate your imagination?

– How often do you imagine?

– How do you imagine yourself to be?

– From 1 to 10, 10 as the highest, how do you rate your creative imagination?

– How do you plan to improve your imagination and creative imagination?



Start Early To Combat Low Self-Esteem

combat low self-esteem


Healthcare providers know that there are many reasons why people suffer from low self-esteem from the chemical imbalance to lack of faith, opportunities, discipline and more.


Many agree, though, that the number one cause of low self-esteem is due to lack of positive feedback and love given to children during their early years.


What happens all too often is that children are born before their parents have matured enough to focus more clearly on their own adulthood, family and family values in the race to succeed with a mate while both are working long hours.


They are still trying to learn good work and life ethics and morals while being out from under parental influence, plus learning about family life together and extended family members during those early years. It’s a lot all at once.


And often before the maturing adults realize they may be following in their own parent’s footsteps, they repeat similar mistakes done to them in their own childhoods.


For example, many parents simply do not let their children try and try again and make their own mistakes.


And many parents do not offer sincere praise and compliments to their children. Instead, taking them and their efforts for granted in all too often a difficult, tough world today full of challenges.


Another important factor is that children most often truly believe in their hearts that all adults are right, and set their own values and feedback systems by them.


However, unfortunately too many of these adults raising young children are still battling illegal substance abuse, gambling, alcohol abuse and other very important issues.


The results are that these adults are simply not doing what’s best for either themselves or their families, especially with their young children trying to follow along in their footsteps.


What a drug or alcohol abuser does not see, for instance, is the harmful physical, emotional and often other abuse passed along to the children as the adults get and stay too caught up in their own self-focus.


In short, children and adults of all ages do need positive feedback and people to demonstrate in a sincere manner their care and concern.


Start young and encourage your mate and children to make good, healthy, positive choices. And when they fail at something, offer them hope and encouragement to try and try again.


Also encourage education, regardless of the level you have. Too many adults often ‘say’ they want their children to success, yet negate comments all through childhood in areas of advancing education.


So do offer plenty of reading materials around the home, show by example and read yourself, encourage workshops, online classes, eBooks and more.


Try to point out and help guide children and mates in their areas of their strengths like subjects in school (chess, math, music…), hobbies (crafts, musical instruments, singing…) and service to others (volunteer work, part-time job).


Reach out and show positive feedback. And reach out with human love, care, and respect. You’ll gain in return, increasing your own self-esteem and love.


overcome low-self-esteem


Stop Underestimating Your Worth


It is important that you do not underestimate your worth, as you are what you think you are, self-esteem is all about thoughts and what you think of yourself.


If you think confidence then you will appear confident, and then this will show on the outside. When people realize their worth, they are able to face life with greater confidence and optimism about the future.


They are more likely to be able to reach their goals and gain experience, satisfaction and happiness from life, are better able to form lasting relationships that work and are better able to cope with whatever life throws at them.


A person who realizes their self-worth is a happy well-adjusted person who possesses the ability to cope with anything and anyone throughout their life and is capable of doing anything they set their mind on doing.


Problems caused by underestimating your self-worth


Many problems can occur in your life simply by underestimating your own self-worth.

A lack of self-worth:

  • affects your sense of well-being
  • causes problems with your feelings and needs
  • affects your ability to make good healthy choices in relationships, work and life in general
  • cause fears such as abandonment and problems such as people continually striving for perfection but never seeming to reach it


A lack of self-worth has been attributed to being indecisive, addictions such as smoking, drinking, drug abuse, compulsive shopping disorder and problems with eating such as bulimia and anorexia.


Realizing your self-worth


You are capable of realizing your self-worth. You do not have to do anything special in order to gain or deserve self-esteem.


The key to realizing your self-worth is getting that little voice inside your head to stop putting you down all the time, it is our own thoughts and feelings that drive us to develop a low self-esteem.


This little voice has developed over a long period of time, casting self-doubt onto yourselves until you genuinely believe that we aren’t worthy or capable.


It is your own minds that develop your feelings of low self-esteem, not some outside force.


There are several ways in which you can begin to change your pattern of thought and boost your self-esteem that in turn begins the process of realizing your true self-worth.


The basics behind making this correction are:

  • Learning to recognize self-critical thoughts and stopping them
  • Learning to replace self-thoughts with more positive ones
  • Sticking with the habit of correcting your negative thoughts with more positive ones


There are many ways in which you can begin to set the pattern of changed thoughts but perhaps the easiest one is using affirmations, which are simple positive statements and using these to replace any negative thoughts.


Examples of positive affirmations could be:

  • This is a new and exciting challenge – this could be used to replace thoughts such as this is too hard or I can’t do this it’s beyond me.
  • I am a confident, worthy individual – replace this when you have thoughts such as can I do this or I could never do this.
  • I can do anything my heart desires if I put my mind to it – this can be used to replace thoughts such as I’m not sure if I’m capable of completing this task or I don’t know if I can complete what is asked of me.


All of these are simple affirmations that you can use to gradually change the way you think, which in time will change the way you feel about yourself and encourage you to realize your true self-worth.




De-cluttering for Success


If you are surrounded by clutter and disorganization in your lives it makes an excellent breeding ground for negativity.


Negativity is what brings about feelings of low self-worth and low self-esteem which hinders us in life and is the basis for us being unsuccessful in what we choose to do.


It is essential therefore if you want to succeed and make the most out of life that you de-clutter from time to time and remove any excess obstacles and belongings from your path, keeping your lives open and free flowing.


Here are some simple points to remember to keep your home and life clutter free.


Replace old with new


This applies to anything which you bring into your home be it clothing, utensils, furniture or any other item.


If you continually buy and bring new items into your home then very quickly you are going to be overrun with items which usually end up being packed in cartons and put in the basement.


Even if you pack items and put them in the basement it is still clutter, clutter that you could do without. Thus, get into the habit of throwing things away or giving them to charity when you buy new.


Don’t keep unnecessary things


In order to keep your home clutter free it is essential that you don’t keep anything which is not essential, items belonging in this category include junk mail which appears through your letterbox, flyers, old newspapers, magazines, letters or trash from your car.


Letters that you don’t need can be shredded immediately, the same for junk mail, while any trash from your car should be collected daily and disposed of immediately.


It is surprising if you get into the habit how much junk you can eliminate building up in your home on a daily basis just by taking care with items such as this.


Throw anything away that you don’t like


Never hang onto items simply because you were given them as presents.

While this may sound harsh it leads to unnecessary clutter, if you don’t like something then don’t keep it, give it away to someone who likes it or sell it but don’t hang onto it.


Have a goal


When looking around your home have a goal in mind when de-cluttering, for example treat each room separately and say to yourself “I aim to de-clutter this room by 25%”.


If you start out with a clear goal in mind you will feel more in control, organized and feel you are accomplishing something.


You should divide the clutter into three piles, those items you can sell, the ones which are trash and those that you wish to give to charity, starting out with a clear plan and goal in mind makes de-cluttering your life so much easier.


Never procrastinate


Be harsh with yourself and don’t feel guilty about throwing something away or giving it away.


Once you start de-cluttering don’t give it a second thought and remove something from a pile and change your mind about getting rid out of sentiment.


If you stop and think about every item in this way it sows the seeds of doubt and negativity that leads to disorganization and a home full of items we don’t need.



How NLP Can Help You


Chances are that many of those who first come across NLP wonder what it is all about, even if it appears in the context of influencing human behavior through the adoption and practice of certain established techniques and procedures.


NLP stands for Neuro-linguistic Programming, where ‘neuro’ is something related to both mind and body.


Linguistic’ is about language patterns or structures and ‘programming’ is devising ways and means of coordinating mind, body, and language for shaping behavior so as to achieve better results than before in various walks of life.


In a sense, NLP can help you in many ways, if only you get to know its techniques and how to use them for your benefit.


Changed perceptions


You can turn to NLP when you are interested in developing your personality traits and characteristics, which determine your verbal and non-verbal reactions to the happenings in this world.


As a first step, let us understand that your perception of reality is based on your subjectivity. Just as a map is merely a miniature representation of a territory, what you perceive as real is only a colored representation of reality, not the reality itself.


You can’t help but look at the world through rose-colored glasses.  Your reactions are dictated not by the reality but by your view of that reality.

NLP helps you in realizing this and reducing, if not completely removing, your subjectivity.

You will then perhaps consider adopting alternative viewpoints of reality and, consequently, bringing about a shift in the way you react to it.


Why do people react differently to a particular event or situation?  Is it not because of the differences in their individual perceptions of that event or situation? What a traumatic event is to one may not be the same to another.


For instance, some people may take verbal or physical abuse lightly or simply ignore it.  Others may be so affected by it that they need psychological or medical treatment.


The underlying philosophy of NLP is based on the premise that it is possible to change one’s perceptions, beliefs and behavior so that traumatic experiences become possible to treat.  It is also possible that you might even become immune to trauma.


Get rid of phobias


You can similarly get rid of your phobias, if any, by going into the factors that cause your fear in the first place, with the help of NLP techniques.


You can perhaps look at things in the way that your adversaries do. You can perhaps consider the same things from a totally new perspective.


Another option, you can perhaps study people who have achieved excellence in any particular aspect of their life.

Find out what qualities and factors contributed to their success and then try and import the same or similar factors and qualities into your life in an effort to achieve excellence in your chosen field.


You can lower your levels of unhappiness or raise the levels of happiness by transforming your belief portfolio, your pre-conceived notions, your language patterns that display your innermost feelings, and your unconscious mind that exposes your conscious reactions to the external world, and so on.


In short, as the NLP practitioners claim, NLP transforms you into a new you, a happier you and a more effective you capable of dealing with this world in a much better way than before.


How Positive Thinking Manifest Change



You heard amazing stories of rags to riches stories, people who’ve turned their lives around and went from zero to hero.

Yet, even as you marvel at their success, perhaps, you never think that you are capable of such yourselves.


It is such negative thinking that keeps many at their low-paying jobs, stuck in their crappy little apartments and in their mediocre lives.


But, you can change your lives, simply by harnessing the power of your minds, specifically the power of positive thinking.


Like all things in life, learning to turn negative thoughts into positive ones will take time, but the process itself is really quite simple.


Stay fit and healthy.

A healthy mind needs a healthy body to reside in. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is one the fundamental ways to stay positive without any psychological involvement.


Regular exercise is scientifically proven to elevate mood and reduce stress. A healthy diet is also essential – make sure you fuel your body with the right foods.


Use positive affirmations.

Many of us are our own worst enemies, constantly pulling ourselves down with negative self-talk. Encourage yourself with daily positive affirmations and drown out the voice of negativity.


Choose your company well.

Negativity, like positivity, is contagious. Surround yourself with positive people who support you and avoid those who sap your energy and motivation with their relentless negativity.



The simple act of smiling is physically proven to help you stay positive and make you more happy.

Allow yourself to be open to humor, share a laugh with a neighbor or smile at the cashier when she rings up your purchases. You’ll be surprised at how good it’ll make you feel.

And here are more tips to instill positive thinking in you.


positive thinking


7 Days Program to Positive Thinking


You have a bright idea hidden somewhere in the back of your mind that you just can’t wait to test out. Of course, you’re not the only one with the bright idea.


So what motivates you to churn those creative or even inspiring juices to its utmost flavor?


It’s always best to set up a personal goal where you can accomplish the most in record time, maybe like mowing the lawn in an hour before the big game on TV.

A correct and positive attitude in whatever you do will make things easier, and even enjoyable.


Here are some tips to make it through the week even if you’re just sitting in your favorite couch. An idea takes time to form in your head and is always at work while you are busy sitting.


Having a bit of positive thinking can help you realize things that are never thought possible.


1. Take passionate action towards living your life by design.


Talk is cheap. Action = deposits in the bank of a passionately authentic future. Without it, passion is void.


This is a perfect example where dreams are made of where you start by tinkering with your mind, then with your hands. And if the idea weakens, you can always go back to it later until you finish it.


2. Commit to yourself as well as those you love to create powerfully a life you can love.


Instead of reacting, commit to creating from your heart and soul, out of love rather than fear.

Your dream will always be there, but a dream will still be a dream without motion.

Be amazed as the transformation begins.


3. Recognize and embrace the thought that each moment is perfect regardless of its outcome.


Every time you hit on something that may appear too extreme, why not give it a shot and see if it will work.

You will be surprised to see that there are other ways to get the task done in time. If you are not pleased with the outcome, decide to use that moment to learn from and make the appropriate shift.


4. Dwell completely in a place of gratitude.


Learn to utilize what you have in your hands and make use of it in the most constructive way.

Slipping into neediness will become less of a habit when you repeatedly shift towards gratitude, away from poverty consciousness.


5. Use a Passion Formula of Recognize/Reevaluate/Restore in place of the Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda whirlwind.


The former is based in increased knowledge and abundance while the latter focuses on scarcity and lack.

As you face people or tasks that may seem harder than scaling the summit of the Himalayas, allow yourself to realize that the task is just as important as giving out orders to your subordinates.

You would rather be richly passionate!


6. Keep humor at the forefront of thought, laughing at and with yourself when possible.


You may find yourself quite entertaining when you loosen up! I am yet to see a comedian ever go hungry even though his jokes are as ‘old as great-grandma’.


Life has so much to offer to allow you to mope around in self-pity. Humor is very attractive, very passionate: life-giving.


7. Believe that you are the architect of your destiny.


No one can take your passionate future from you except for you! Create your life authentically. As long as there’s still breath in your body, there is no end to how much you can accomplish in a lifetime.


The concept of thinking big is all about enjoying your work, which would lead to celebrate a discovery that is born within your hands. Watch everything flow into place with perfect, passionate precision.


It’s interesting how people get wallowed up by something trivial as learning to use a computer when nowadays that top computer companies are manufacturing software that even the kids can do it.


This does not mean to be condescending, but that’s the idea of not having any positive thinking in your life. You’ll just end up as a dim bulb in a dark corner.


So, instead of subjecting yourself to what you will be doomed for, make your path by taking the first step with a positive attitude.


positive thinking


Tips for Positive Living

Positive thinking, self-growth, thinking yourself to success – so much has been said about these subjects, but is it really achievable?

The truth is that the power of our minds to influence our actions cannot be underestimated.


Not everybody believes or accepts the power of positive thinking. But there is an undeniable truth that negative thoughts, words, and attitudes bring up negative and unhappy moods and actions.


Negativity breeds more negativity, a vicious, never-ending cycle that can only lead to failure, frustration, and disappointment.


Conversely, positive thinking will do the exact opposite; positive thoughts can only beget positive actions, leading to a happier, healthier, more successful life.


So how do we move beyond positive thinking towards positive living? The first step is always to decide that you can be a more positive person.


Many people cannot even move beyond this first step, coming up with all sorts of excuses (“I’m stuck in a lousy job”, “I’m never going to have a successful long-term relationship”, etc.) as to why they cannot be more positive.


But, know this, no matter what your life is like, choosing to be more positive is entirely your choice to make.


Next, you need to commit 100% to the idea of positive thinking and positive living at all times. Now this is harder than simply choosing to be positive.


This commitment requires you to remain positive even when things seem to be going wrong in every possible way.


But the truth is that the most successful people are those who are able to commit and persevere and ultimately move beyond mere thinking towards the life they have always wanted.


Positive thinking requires commitment, persistence, and hard work.

But once you’ve trained your mind to habitually remove all negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, you will find yourself in a better position to achieve the success, happiness and wealth you’ve always dreamt of.


positive living


Relish Life Alter Your View


In life, you’re always satiated with choices. You might opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you might choose to take the optimist’s route and take an ambitious and fulfilling life.

So why nourish an optimist’s viewpoint? And why today?


Optimism has been linked to favorable mood and great morale; to academic, athletic, armed services, occupational and political success; to fame; to healthiness and even to long life and freedom from injury.


Rates of depressive disorders and pessimism have never been greater. It affects grownups the same way it strikes younger individuals.


The average age of onset has decreased from thirty to fifteen. It’s no more a middle-aged homemaker’s disorder but likewise an adolescent’s disorder.


Optimists anticipate the best. The delineating feature of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad things will happen ,last a long time and sabotage everything they do, and that it’s their own fault.


The reality is optimists are faced with the same adversity of this world. What differs is the way they look at their misfortune, it’s the contrary way.

They tend to think defeat is just an impermanent setback, that its reasons are held to this one case.


Optimists tend to center on and design for the ‘issue’ at hand. They utilize ‘positive reinterpretation.’ Put differently, they most likely re-explain a negative experience in a sense that helps them learn and mature.


Such individuals are unfazed by the tough situation. They comprehend it as a challenge and try more.

They won’t state “matters will never get better,” “If I bombed once, it will occur again” and “If I experience bad luck in one area of my life, then it will occur in my whole life.”


Positive anticipations of optimists likewise predict better responses during transitions to fresh surroundings, sudden calamities, and improbable twists. If they fall, they’ll get up. They see opportunities rather than obstructions.


Individuals respond positively to optimists. Optimists are proactive and to a lesser extent dependent on other people for their happiness.

They find no need to command or manipulate individuals. They generally draw individuals towards them.


Their affirmative view of the world may be contagious and influence those they’re with. In life, these individuals frequently win elections; get voted most congenial and sought-after for advice.


Optimists are fitter and live longer. Medical inquiry has justified that uncomplicated pleasures and a favorable outlook may cause a measurable gain in the body’s power to fight disease.


Optimists’ health is remarkably great. They age well, have less of the common physical ills of middle age and outlive those prone to damaging thoughts.


So why not be an optimist now? How come you don’t look forward to success in all your enterprises? You’re bound to hit lows occasionally but don’t merely stay there. Think positively and inspire other people to do


Practice these simple steps everyday and eventually, you will find yourself breaking away from the chains of negativity. Start changing your life today!



How To Conquer Self-Consciousness?


Daily speech offers one of the vast opportunities for eliminating self-consciousness. Everyone should aim here to develop definiteness of idea, sincerity of expression, and concentration of mind.

Nothing leads so quickly to hesitation and embarrassment in a speaker as mental uncertainty. To speak confidently, they must not guess, or imagine, or take for granted: they must know.

Lack of proper mental equipment is responsible for a large part of the fearfulness of people.  People who really know what they’re talking about, and are absolutely sure of it, are likely to be sure of themselves.

It shows itself in their voice, their use of words, their manner, and their entire personality.

The speaker should cultivate sincerity in his conversation. They will avoid formal compliments and empty platitudes. They will not talk like a book. They will not talk just to hear themselves.

They will speak for a purpose, and this will easily enable them to concentrate their mind upon the subject of his conversation. They will listen attentively and get  interested to others.

Above all, they will not speak of themselves unless obliged to do so, and then briefly, modestly, and gently.

In what manner, then, shall they speak? Newman’s definition of a good person answers that question well:

“They guard against unseasonable allusions or topics which may irritate; they are seldom prominent in conversation, and never wearisome. They make light of favors when they do them, and seem to be receiving when they are conferring. They never speak of themselves except when compelled, never defend themselves by a mere retort; they have no ears for slander or gossip, are scrupulous in assigning motives to those who interfere with them, and interpret everything for the best.”

This self-discipline begins naturally with deep breathing. Many people don’t realize that the manner in which they breathe affects their attitude of mind. It is altogether too common to use but one half of the breathing capacity.

A man who breathes only with his upper chest lacks the vigor and vitality essential to a high degree of self-confidence. Deep breathing should be practiced daily until it becomes an unconscious habit.

overcoming self-consciousness

So, what is the remedy for self-consciousness?

It’s mainly a matter of securing control of one’s thoughts and intelligently directing them.

The mind is a machine, which must be made obedient to the owner’s will. When brought under subjection, it will serve man’s highest and best purposes, but left to itself it may run easily to confusion and destruction.

You might say: “But my mind wanders.” Then go after it and bring it back. You say you can’t?  Who’s operating your mind?  Does it run itself?

What would you think of a train that had no engineer, no conductor, no one to direct it, and was allowed to run just anywhere?

Yet this is what you permit with your train of ideas. Be sensible. Take hold of yourself seriously. Set your will to work.  Straighten your spine. Take time today for mental overhauling.

You are about to educate your will and it’s serious business. Procrastination will not do. From this time forward resolve to control and direct your mental powers for definite purposes.

Let it be said here, without attempt to moralize, that wrongdoing will contribute its share to self-consciousness. It may be an injury done another, an unfair advantage in business, or a secret habit; but whatever it may be.

Its mark is seared upon the conscience, and sooner or later finds expression in embarrassment.

What should one do who comes under this classification?  Repair the injury, stop every undesirable habit, and resolve hereafter to deal justly with all people.

Constantly hold in your mind a high estimate of yourself, but be sure you have reasons for doing so. It is of little use to say you are well if you are ill.

Don’t deceive yourself. You are no greater than the sum of your thoughts and habits.

Do you have good and sufficient reasons for holding yourself in high esteem? Are you a person of noble impulses?  Is your ambition lofty?

Do you have high ideals and do you work persistently to realize them?  Are you doing the best you can?  Do you have an uncompromising love for truth?

A businessman recently wrote to a teacher, saying:

“I lose control and become embarrassed when I speak even to my own employees, and can’t keep a straight face at any time when meeting strangers. I feel embarrassed, turn red in the face, and otherwise feel uncomfortable when talking to a single individual.  If I were called upon to address an audience, I believe I should drop dead.”

This is an illustration of the extremes to which self-consciousness may carry its victim.  The mind is a fertile field for the growth of all kinds of thought.

If false and negative ideas are allowed to take root, they, like weeds of an ordinary field, spread with wonderful rapidity, and may easily discourage and overwhelm the owner.

The man to whom we have referred has long neglected his mental field and now finds himself in a bad way.

The remedy for him, and for lots of others, is to patiently root out every obnoxious habit and to substitute strong, healthy, positive thoughts in its place.

They must be content with small victories at first, since they have permitted their mental field and garden to be overrun with these objectionable thought habits. On the other hand, they can comfort themselves with the assurance that in this way they can and will attain success.

Timid people concern themselves too much about what others will think and say. They are constantly studying the impression they are making upon people who probably are not even thinking of them.

Their super sensitiveness causes them to imagine themselves being criticized, slighted, and unfairly condemned by those who all the while are absorbed in their own affairs.

A man may be on the road to success when a single act of timidity may ruin all his chances. People lose confidence in him if he lacks faith in himself.


Courage is admired, fear never is.

Courage is dignified, fear is repulsive. The man of courage is welcomed everywhere, while fear invites itself to a seat in the rear.

The following incident actually occurred in a second-hand bookshop. The salesman had been talking for some time to a customer, when another man who had selected a book for himself mustered up enough courage to say:

“Don’t let me interrupt you, sir, if you are busy with that gentleman—I wanted to get—this book–but I can just as well call in on my way back–I would have to trouble you anyway–to change–a five-dollar bill–and perhaps–you haven’t–the change-so I’ll come back–in a little while–don’t trouble, sir–and then I’ll have the right change with me.”

This sounds exaggerated, but it can be vouched for. What chance, do you think does that man have for advancement or distinction in the world?  He is doomed to failure unless he changes his entire mental attitude.

Every person should learn to stand firmly upon his own feet. As themselves they may become great; as an imitator they will amount to little.

“Intellectual intrepidity,” says Samuel Smiles “is one of the vital conditions of independence and self-reliance in character. A man must have the courage to be himself, and not the shadow or the echo of another. He must exercise his own powers, think his own thoughts, and speak his own sentiments. He must elaborate his own opinions, and form his own convictions. It has been said that they who dare not form an opinion must be a coward; they who will not, must be an idler; they who cannot, must be a fool.”

The timid man should take inspiration from the experience of many of the world’s greatest orators and actors. For the most part they at first were self-conscious men.

Demosthenes, Cicero, Curran, Chalmers, Erskine, Pitt, Gladstone, Disraeli, Mirabeau, Patrick Henry, Clay, Gough, Beecher, Salvini, Henry Irving, Richard Mansfield, and many others were subject to “stage-fright.”

But this sensitivity, when at last controlled and intelligently directed, enabled them to reach a foremost place among distinguished men.

It is said of Rufus Choate, the great lawyer that before an important address to a jury looked as nervous and wretched as a criminal about to be hanged.

Probably every public speaker who has amounted to anything could testify to this initial feeling of nervousness or anxiety. But the cure lies in becoming so absorbed in one’s subject, or the welfare of others, as to forget one’s self.

Self-consciousness may arise from self-conceit.

The victim says to himself:  “What impression am I making?” “Do I look okay? ” “What are they thinking and saying about me?”

On the other hand, it may be due to extreme humility.  Such a man says inwardly: “I am not equal to this,” “I lack so many things,” “If I had only been born right,” “My father was bashful before me,” “I know I’m going to fail.”

Natural humility need not necessarily be a stumbling block to any person. It’s a safeguard against rashness, familiarity, and over-confidence.

The evil of extreme self-consciousness is that it makes a man do so many things they don’t want to do.

It changes his line of conduct a hundred times a day, makes him say “yes” when they would rather say “no,” and, in short, robs him of his power and individuality.

When Thackeray said that sensitivity was a great mistake in a public man, he doubtless meant that super sensitivity by which a man loses initiative, self-reliance, and independence.

A self-conscious man must sooner or later rid himself of this fault if he is to be preeminently successful.

overcome selfconsciousness_1

overcome selfconsciousness_2


How To Build Self-Confidence?

build self-confidence

Before discussing how to build self-confidence and how to be committed to it, let us review first what is confidence as well as self-confidence.

Definition of Confidence

The word confidence has been defined variously by different writers, scholars, academicians and psychologists.

It is a term which is generally understood to refer  to the belief, consciousness and trust that a person, entity, authority or another thing is capable of succeeding in something. It also refers to the belief in yourself self-confidence.

Confidence is a vital trait which has made countries win wars; individuals win competitions and games, people do what seems impossible and it has also helped men and women make history.

It is required by everyone be it at marriage, in school, at work, in positions of leadership and generally in your daily life.

build self-confidence

What is self-confidence?

“Self-confidence gives you the freedom to make mistakes and cope with failure without feeling that your world has come to an end or that you are a worthless person.” – Anon

Self-confidence refers to the trust or confidence in self. It is the belief that you or the person or entity you are acting for will emerge victorious and successful in the task you want to undertake.

With self-confidence, you are able to meet most of the challenges in life. It will also help you do what people believe is impossible or difficult to do.

Self-confidence is the key to unlocking the door for successes in life.

Most people lack self-confidence and this causes them to miss many opportunities. You have to interact, talk and communicate with people if you are to progress.

You have to know how to talk to the public.  All well-known and respected public speakers have self-confidence.

Self-confidence at the workplace will make you discharge your daily duties and obligations confidently while you are sure that everything is going on well as required.

The Components of Self-Confidence

In Self-confidence does not happen; some other factors must be present so that it can develop. It is a component of several other attributes. You must have vision and goals so as to be self-confident.

You also need to have positive self-esteem and self-efficacy. You need to possess several attributes in order to trust yourself.

If you were not born naturally self-confident as is the case with most people, then you will be required to work so as to achieve this vital attribute.

There are two main components of self-confidence namely self-esteem and self-efficacy.

These two factors (self-esteem and self-efficacy) are very important in the life of an individual.

Self-efficacy is the belief that you are up to certain task or challenge. It is the belief that you are not disadvantaged; that you are proud of who you are and what you can do.

It is the capacity to motivate yourself when you fail.  Self-esteem, on the other hand, is the belief that you are a person who is worth and that you are capable of doing something positive.

If you lack either self-efficacy or self-esteem you cannot create your ideal lifestyle by realizing your full potential through confidence.

If you lack both self-esteem and self-efficacy it will be worse because you will have a feeling that you are worthless, unimportant and that you are inferior to others.

Life will not make sense and this is dangerous because you may have suicidal thoughts, stress, depression, anxiety or even go insane!

Self-confidence which is the product of mainly self-efficacy and self-esteem will give you peace of mind even if you do not have material wealth.

If you are a leader, self-confidence will give you the power to lead but not to rule or oppress.

If you are a servant, it will give you the power to serve and please your master.  It will give you the capability to lead your life and live without hassle, tension or stress.

Self-confidence can be built. You can train yourself.  Like any other building activity, you have to mix several things so as to build self-confidence.

If you build enough self-confidence, you will have built a link to success and creating your ideal lifestyle.

Confidence is the pathway to success it will make you achieve what you what. It will make you a real model which inspires most people.


Building Self-Confidence

Though some people are naturally born with self-confidence, most of them learn or acquire it as they grow. There is nothing which is as good as having self-confidence.

Confidence is everything because you will proud of who you are, what you do and what you say. People will also trust and have faith in you if you.

As stated earlier the well-renowned speakers have one character which most people lack and it is none other than self-confidence.

If you have self-confidence you can convince. If you lack this attribute you will find it very hard or impossible to take leadership roles.

The most successful men and women build self-confidence in themselves and in whatever they do. Self-confidence will also help you overcome challenges in life.

It will help you make decisions quickly and a put off any doubts which you may have on the probability of success or failure of the thing you want to undertake.

Research has shown that most people are reluctant to back or approve something which was proposed by someone who at the time of leadership or proposal was fumbling, apologetic and nervous.

You will persuade most people if you hold you head high, answer questions directly and with confidence and when you openly admit when you do not know something.

If you are self-confident you will inspire many others including your seniors, equals, audience, friends, peers and even customers.

Gaining the confidence of others is always termed as success and you should aim at doing so all the time. As stated earlier, self-confidence can be learned or acquired if you are not naturally born with it.

Your level of confidence can be seen in various ways including what you say, how you talk, body language and behavior among others. It will help you rejuvenate during the low moments and events in life.

It is true that a person with confidence is considered to be a person with an impressive personality.

You have to work on personal development at all times, because this is what really helps you grow as an individual, and for that, you will need to work at improving your self-confidence.

But, what are the ways in which you can do that?

Learn to confront your fears. No person in this world is without apprehension. You might be skeptical about achieving a particular thing, or you may be fazed by some weakness that lies within you.

These are your fears. They are the detrimental factors in building your personality.

The first step towards beginning to improve your self-confidence is to be truthful to yourself and understand what it is that hampers your growth as an individual.

When you know what your fears are, you will automatically know what you can do about it. If your fears are about your work, then all you need to do is to concentrate on the results you want to achieve.

These are the results you want—what must you do for achieving them? In your mind, find the answers to this question.

When you know for sure what methods you need to adopt to achieve the results you want, you will become confident about them. Your conviction levels will increase.

The best way to achieve self-confidence is through achievement. If you achieve something, however small, you become confident that you can do it. Even if your achievement is minor, it gears you for the bigger things.

Having done something once is a great motivation for doing the same kind of thing again. So, don’t be hesitant to try new things.

Try whatever you can within your field of work, or passion. It is these small achievements that will egg you on for greater glories.

Always keep working on your personality. You must amass as much knowledge in your field as you can. Read about the famous people in your field.

See how they went about their achievements. This gives you great inspiration to surge ahead as well.

When you are building your self-confidence, these are the things that really work. Be better acquainted with your own pluses and minuses and don’t let that spirit dwindle.

Soon, people are going to think of you as a stronger, more confident person.


5 Tips On How To Build Self Confidence

Below there are five simple techniques that have been proved to help build self-confidence today.

1. Talk to yourself.

It sounds crazy but it works. All of us have a running monologue constantly in our heads, whether we realize it or not. Everything you see, hear or touch sparks off an immediate dialog in our thoughts.

For those who lack confidence this monologue is filled with negative messages many of which are the negative side of adverts from television, radio, advertisement boardings, newspapers, and just overhearing other people talk.

These negative thoughts literally suck energy from your minds and bodies and block the flow of positive messages.

You need to hear the positive messages as they will build self-confidence today and raise your self-esteem. Take control.

Use your inner thoughts to talk to yourself in a positive manner, as often as you can.

Take control. Use your inner thoughts to talk to yourself in a positive manner, as often as you can.

2. Dress as smartly and as classily as you can.

You won’t feel at your best if you don’t look your best. You will be amazed at just how much more confidence you will have just looking your best.

It just feels good when you are wearing your best clothes, are well groomed, and are surrounded by a clean environment.

So what if it is Saturday, you need to build self-confidence today, not next week. Put on your nice clothes, get the car washed, style that hair! A hairdresser once told me “Everyday is show time!”

3. Give thanks.

Increase your self-esteem even more by giving thanks to what you are, how you look, and what you are doing.

Say “thank you” to yourself to everything you see, all whom you meet, and each smile that you receive.

4. Stand or sit correctly.

How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you. This results in improving how you feel about yourself and will build self-confidence today and every day.

There is scientific evidence that shows how posture affects our mood. Do not slouch. Slouching produces a down mood. By slouching you are telling the world and yourself it doesn’t matter, you don’t matter.

Standing tall and upright will actually lift your mood. Help build up your confidence by pulling back those shoulders, stop that slouch, and walk proud.

5. Smile.

Just smile and things seem better somehow. Practice smiling regularly and get your facial muscles used to the physical act of smiling.

Go to the mirror and smile – make yourself. Not a grimace, but a proper smile.

If you don’t think you can try this:

1. Open your eyes as wide as you can. Try and get your eyebrows right up to your hairline.

2. Slightly open your mouth.

3. Pull the corners of your mouth back towards your ears. If you’re not sure, pull them back with your fingers so you know what it feels like then try again without your fingers.

4. Repeat 50 times. Get your facial muscles used to smiling and you will smile more and encourage smiles from others.

This will make you feel happier and with that, you’ll build self-confidence today.

how build selfconfidence_1


How To Successfully Focus On Your Goals?



How to Focus Your Life with Goals?

Life can sometimes be overwhelming. Without a clear direction, you will most likely wander around the planet in a helpless state.

You will not know what to do or when to do it.  You’ll almost follow through with a million dollar idea.

You’ll almost do everything you ever wanted to do.  However, this is definitely no way to live.  Luckily there is another way, a much better way, in fact.

In order to live the life you choose, there must be structure.  Your life must have ordered if you want to succeed.  The best way that has been proven to work is through the use of goal setting.

Without a goal, you will be unhappy and live an unfulfilled life.  With a goal, you will zero in on exactly what you want.  You will be happier and more fulfilled.

Did you know that only about three out of every 100 people ever actually decide on their goal?

Many people go through life without any clear direction and they get exactly what they prepare for.

They may say, “I wish I could buy that car.” This is quite different than setting a goal to by the car by a certain date.

One method will get you the car and the other one will leave you standing outside the dealership window crying.


Which one would you rather use?

Is it any wonder that such a small percentage of the world’s population controls a vast majority of the wealth? This minority is the goal-setters of the world.  They ask for what they want and then they receive it.


How can you begin to set a goal?

There are a few criteria that must be followed.  First of all the goal must be clearly defined.

You can’t say, “I want a new car”. You must say “I want a brand new black Mercedes with tinted windows and chrome 20” rims.” 

The picture must be absolutely crystal clear in your mind.

Next, you must give yourself a time limit.  If you never nail yourself down to a time limit, you will probably never achieve the goal.

You must be held accountable.  You must also believe that you can get it. Without belief, nothing is possible.

Lastly, you must make an irrevocable commitment that you will achieve the goal.  There is no turning back.  If you change your mind at every obstacle, you will never get what you want.

Make up your mind and go for it. What have you got to lose?


Do You Need Focus To Achieve Your Goals Faster?

Let me ask you another question

What is the shortest distance between two points?

This isn’t a trick, the answers very simple yes it’s one that you were taught at school

…A straight line!

So what does this have to do with you achieving your dreams in the shortest possible time, before they fade away and you lose sight of them?

Simple, you need to be traveling straight towards them at all times. That way you’ll get there as quickly as you can.

So why don’t you always head straight in the direction of your goals, why doesn’t everyone always do that?

There are lots of reasons why people don’t always head towards their goals. Maybe they make excuses like:

“I just don’t have the energy”

“My cat/dog/goldfish was ill”

“I was too busy” (watching the television…)

“I was going to but my friend/distant aunt/uncle/cousin phoned”

“I had other things on my mind”

Or sometimes they get confused. There are just too many options to choose from.

Or they actually start doing something and following a path and then some new fad comes along and they switch to that and then the next one and the next…

In the end, they run around in circles getting nowhere. So many people flit around from idea to idea never accomplishing anything.

Or maybe they just over-complicate things, adding lots of extra steps to get from where they are to where they want to be.

How many of these things have you done? Go on be honest…

Occasionally there are things that just can’t be avoided – major dramas, serious illnesses and accidents and these will demand your attention, slow you down for a while.

But so often people let these events stop them completely.

None of these things have to happen. They are choices. We let ourselves get distracted.

Whatever your favorite form of distraction the result is that you lose sight of your goals and you waste your time and energy getting nowhere.

Until eventually discouraged and disheartened you give up ever trying to reach that goal.


The Habit that can Save the Day

So how can you avoid the pitfalls of distraction?

There’s one very important mental habit that can make a difference, one learned by all successful people in all walks of life – business, the sciences, the arts….


Focus your mind and your energy on your goals. Don’t let problems and distractions get in your way. Remember what you focus on is what you get.

If you choose to focus on distractions then you’ll get nowhere. If you choose to focus on your goals, then you will get there.

  • Focus is a habit that you should practice daily.
  • Take time every day to remind yourself where it is you want to go.
  • Have a well thought out a plan that clearly states where you want to go and how you are going to get there – make it believable so that you don’t feel tempted to change horses mid-stream.
  • Everyday plan the time you are going to use that day. Make sure you know when you are going to do the things you must do to get you moving forward that day.
  • If distractions do come up, pause, take a deep breath. Remind yourself about your plan. Ask yourself does this thing help me or hinder me? Only do the things that help you.

Use the Right Tools

If you aren’t in the habit of focus it can be very difficult to do. You will need to work to change your habits.

Remember there are lots of tools out there that can help you to improve your focus.

For example writing a simple “to-do” list every day helps a lot of people. If this isn’t enough there are a lot of personal development tools you can find to help you focus better. Find some tools that work for you and start using them.

focus on your goals

How to Focus on Your Goals?

Focus is the single most important factor that will determine whether your dreams come true or not. Depending on what your dreams are, there are so many rivers to cross.

Some hurdles look quite formidable, and a lot of folks give up at the first sign of a setback.

Focus helps you put your act together. It helps you mobilize your resources and channel them in one direction. That way, you make progress consistently in the direction of your goal or milestones.

Imagine the lamps in the front of your car. Most models use the same size and bulb and wattage. What makes a full beam is a focus. Driving on a dark road at midnight, you can see up to a kilometer ahead.

If the beam is focused further, it can generate heat. Focused further still, it cut through some materials. That is the power of focus.

To fulfill your dreams, you have to break it down into actionable segments, goals. Fulfilling the dream involves achieving the goals that make up the dream. Focus enables you to meet your goals.

Without focus, you become distracted. You lose direction. Your priorities get messed up. You start to look in different directions.

This may involve beginning other projects when the one at hand has not been pursued to a logical conclusion.

The cycle continues, and the net effect is that you litter the landscape with abandoned projects. If you consider the time, energy and resources committed to these abandoned projects, put together and focused on one project, results would have been achieved.

Keep your eyes where you are going, and you will get there. Keep your eyes where you are, and you will get lost.

Have you ever wondered what the difference between a magnet and a nail is? They are both made of carbon steel. It is in its molecular structure. Each has a north and south polarity.

In the magnet, all the molecules are in perfect alignment, all north poles pointing in one direction (to make the north pole) and all south poles pointing in the opposite direction (to make the south pole).

This is what accumulates to constitute the magnetic force.

In the nail, the alignment is haphazard. They point in all directions. The net effect is that the electromagnetic forces cancel themselves and the resultant magnetic force is nil.

If you bring a nail within the magnetic field of a magnet, it sucks it in. While still attached to the magnet, the nail becomes a magnet too, and can magnet other metals.

What happens is the magnetic force of the magnet forces the molecules in the nail to put its act together and line up in one direction. If you remove the nail, its molecular array returns to its former state, and it becomes a non-magnet one more time.

The magnet is a focused guy. He pulls its resources together and achieves. The nail is a confused guy. He deploys its resources in all directions, jumps from project to project and cancels out whatever progress he would have made.

As a shrewd manager of your time, energy and resources you need to plan and focus. You may have a thousand ideas. Create an idea bank in your computer and store them for safekeeping. Each idea has its time.

Nothing can stop an idea whose time has come. If you run before time, you wear yourself out and add your idea to your database of abandoned projects. Instead of the idea motivating you, it now becomes a source of discouragement.

Each well-run army knows its strategic strengths, and how many theaters of war it can prosecute simultaneously. If it overstretches itself, it sets itself up for defeat.

It may be time step back to review your current ongoing projects. Take a second look at your short term and long term goals.

Do you still believe in your dream? If so, look at projects that are on the critical path to the fulfillment of your dream.

Suspend projects that distract you from getting to where you are headed. If all your ongoing projects are relevant, assign priorities to them, continue with the most critical, and keep the others in view. Pursue one project to its logical conclusion.

It may not necessarily mean staying permanently on one project. You can push it to a stage that it becomes self-sustaining or delegate-able to others, then delegate and move on. It will continue to thrive, as you break new grounds.

Also, you can take on other projects, if and only if they do not distract you, or slow down your primary thrust.

It does not make sense to complain that you don’t have enough time to do the things you need to do, simply because you got your life cluttered with so many things that are nice, but not absolutely necessary.

It is great to start. Most folks don’t. But starting alone is not enough. Finish what you start. The laurel belongs to those who finish, not to starters.

The end of the matter is better than the beginning thereof. If you remain focused long enough, you will get to the finish line.


Some of the focus activities that you can use:

  1. Write down your goal and review it frequently. Immerse yourself in it.
  2. Surround yourself with associate items, pictures, smells, feels, and/or tastes.
  3. Think as if it’s on layaway, it’s in the bank, and confidently pay the price.
  4. Create future references by visualizing you have received them already.
  5. Talk about them all the time, and record my own enthusiastic voice to listen to.
  6. Control your focus by crowding out the negative, overwhelming it with positive.
  7. Break down your actions to the ridiculously simple, be specific.
  8. Committed to yourself, your wife, and everyone you cared about. (built up importance)
  9. Set your mind to ‘win’, there is no other option to consider.
  10. Have faith that this will happen, use the peak to peek principle.

One focus to success. Build momentum in all things instead of a distraction. It is all about focus. You can make this work for you too.

The real question to ask yourself is this:

How can I take these 10 ‘focus’ strategies, use them as a checklist of sorts, apply them to my most important goal, make them work for me, and enjoy the process?

Well, how can you? And will you? You Can Do It! Go for it!



How To Achieve The Power Of Concentration?

power of concentration


How do you concentrate? Why is concentration important, needless to say? Throughout the ages, great people have invariably had great concentration.

In art and science, business and warfare, literature, politics and philosophy, the real achievements of the race have been due to this power.

Concentration arises chiefly from being deeply interested and is very closely related to persistence and definiteness of purpose.

Concentration is an enemy to self-consciousness and vacillation. It enables a man to do the best that is in him. It is one of the characteristic marks of genius itself.

A timid person is erratic in their habits. They shift constantly from one thing to another, accomplishing nothing worth anything. Is it a book they’re reading?

Soon they turn the pages impatiently, skim lightly over the most important parts, hasten to learn the conclusion, and cast the book aside.

Is it a new business venture?  They enter upon it enthusiastically, but at the first sign of difficulty lose heart and give up. Every change they make causes a loss of time and energy so that they are always going but never arriving.

People make their own world.  To cultivate concentration they must think and do only one thing at a time.

Concentration is the art of continuous and intense application to a task. It is not an abstraction; therefore it cannot be offered as an excuse for carelessness.


Here’s an example:

A young man who worked in a bank was assigned to collect a note for $75,000. He received the customer’s check for the amount, had it certified, and returned to the bank.

Upon arriving at the bank, he immediately engaged a fellow worker in conversation, and then was sent out again on another errand.

He loitered on the way, and when he returned, the bank had closed and everyone had gone home. That night the young man told his father how he came to have the check still in his pocket.

His father made him call the president of the bank at home, and early next morning the young man handed in the check.

The president called him into his office and said: “We don’t require your services any longer.”


Thoroughness is one of the marks of a self-confident person. They do everything they undertake just as well as they can.

If it is a business matter to be discussed, they first inform themselves so completely that they are able to talk with accuracy and intelligence.

If it is a public speech to be delivered, they don’t wait until the day before and then put together a few hastily considered thoughts, but all is carefully and thoroughly prepared long in advance.

Such a person speaks little of what they are going to do, but first does it and lets their work speak for itself.

Every person should get an idea of values in their life. There can be no true success where time and talent are squandered.  “Every moment lost,” said Napoleon, himself a wonderful example of concentration, “gives an opportunity for misfortune.”

The building of a self-confident person requires effort, self-sacrifice, and singleness of purpose.

It is not quantity but the quality of work that differentiates one man from another. One thing well and thoroughly done is better than any amount of careless work.

The person who is completely absorbed in the present duty has no time for discontent and discouragement. Time does not hang heavily on their hands, for the clock is not their master.

No one can become deeply interested in work that is distasteful to them. Thousands of people struggle upstream all their lives because they are in a job that doesn’t fit them.


An anonymous writer said:  “It is a sad parody of life to see a man earning his living by a vocation which has never received his approval. It is pitiable to see a youth, with the image of power and destiny, stamped upon him, trying to support himself in a mean, contemptible occupation, which dwarfs his nature, and makes him despise himself; an occupation which is constantly condemning him, ostracizing him from all that is best and truest in life. Dig trenches, shovel coal, carry a rod; do anything rather than sacrifice your self-respect, blunt your sense of right and wrong, and shut yourself off forever from the true joy of living, which comes only from the consciousness of doing one’s best.”


In order to cultivate concentration, a person must bring their will to bear strongly upon their work and their life. They should realize that every difficulty yields to this power, and that uninterrupted application to one thing will achieve the seemingly impossible.

Mental shiftlessness is powerless in the face of difficulty, but a person of strong will and concentration uses obstacles as stepping-stones to higher things.

You need to begin to develop your concentration today in little things. Cultivate the most intense earnestness in whatever you may be doing.


Say to yourself: “This one thing I do and I do it to the very best of my ability. My purpose is sure and steady. My aim is accurate and certain. I hold my thought severely and positively to the work in hand. My endeavor is to do better with each succeeding effort. I don’t think about tomorrow, for today demands the best that’s in me.”


“I move quietly but persistently toward a definite goal. I shall be immensely successful through constant, earnest and sincere application to my work and duty. I grow daily in my power of concentrated effort. I am absorbed in all I do.”


A person should concentrate not only on matters of business but in their reading and recreation. This great power brings with it many other valuable elements, such as order, punctuality, thoroughness, self-respect, and self-reliance.

Through concentration, a person may aspire to the highest achievements. By its aid, there is practically no limit to ambition.

Buskin said that “men’s proper business in this world falls mainly into three divisions: First, to know themselves.  Second, to be happy in themselves. Third, to mend themselves as far as either is marred or mendable.”

We hear people constantly condemning the fact that they lack concentration, memory, definiteness, and other qualities of excellence, but those same people don’t make the slightest effort to cultivate them.

Few persons are born with really great gifts. Most of the truly great have achieved greatness.  Napoleon ascribed his greatest victories to his ability to concentrate his forces on a single point in the enemy.

Gladstone was remarkable for this same power.  When the great statesman died, Lord Eosebery said: “My lords, there are two features of Mr. Gladstone’s intellect which I cannot help noting on this occasion, for they were so signal, so salient, and distinguished him so much from all other minds that I have come in contact with, that it would be wanting to this occasion if they were not noted. The first was his enormous power of concentration!”

“There never was a man, I feel, in this world, who, at any given moment, on any given subject, could so devote every resource and power of his intellect, without the restriction of a single nerve within him, to the immediate purpose of that subject.”


The story is told of an English statesman whose powers of concentration were so great that after a great debate in Parliament, they hurried from the House bareheaded, passed his coach at the door, and walked all the way home in a pouring rain.

In the highest form of public speaking, men become so absorbed in their subject that they lose for the time being all consideration and thought of everything else. This power is really indispensable to the highest form of extempore address.

The great pulpit orators of the world possessed this faculty in a preeminent degree. Whitefield, Mirabeau, Wilberforce, Parker, Spurgeon, Beecher, Phillips Brooks, all were men of tremendous earnestness and concentration.

John Bright was so completely absorbed in the subject of a forthcoming speech that they brooded over it day and night, talked it over with his friends, and when no one else was available discussed it with his gardener.

But along with a person’s concentration there must be actual performance. Dr. Nicholas Murray Butler says that “Indefinite absorption without production is fatal both to the character and to the highest intellectual power. Do something and be able to do it well. Express what you know in some helpful and substantial form; produce, and do not everlastingly feel only and revel in feelings–these are counsels which make for a real education and against that sham form of it which is easily recognized as well-informed incapacity.”


The power of concentration is to be developed so as to enable a person to do better work, to produce the best of which they are capable. It does not mean brooding and meditating, with no thought of action and production. It is to encourage work, not restrain it.

It’s a mistake to think that concentration means a straining of the mind.  On the contrary, it is power in repose.

It’s not a nervous habit of doing your work under pressure, but the ease of self-control. Every person should have one great ideal in life toward which they direct their best powers.

By constantly keeping that aim before you, by bending your energies to it, you can hope eventually to attain to your highest goals.

When a successful financier was asked the secret of his great success, he said that as a young man they made a strong mental picture of what some day he would become.

Day and night he concentrated his powers upon that one goal. There was no feverish haste, no nervous overreaching, and no squandering of mental and physical power, but a strong, reposeful, never-wavering determination to make that picture of his youth a living reality. Such is the power of concentration. Such is the secret of success.


The Importance of Concentration

Concentration is the ability to center the focus of the mind on an individual object or thought to the exception of everything else. It’s the power to hold the attention centered on what you’re doing.

Doing one thing and simultaneously thinking about something else, shows a lack of concentration. Any action, if executed when the mind isn’t focused on it, is not done well.

Very few truly have strong powers of concentration. Most individuals acknowledge it is importance, but few do something to grow or strengthen it.

Concentration has high value. It aids in work to be done more efficiently. It tones the memory, makes it easier and quicker to analyze, and makes you more sharp and mindful of your environment.

Actions, tasks, and work are executed better, quicker and with less mistakes. Concentration is needed for creative visualization, thought transference and psychic abilities, curing and magic.

It’s of great importance for meditation. It helps to contain the ceaseless stream of thoughts, and thereby bring peace of mind and exemption from nagging thoughts.

Center Yourself

When the power to concentrate develops, less thoughts are capable of trespassing into the mind without permission. This means more mental control and more inner serenity and happiness.

It’s crucial to have good powers of concentration, if you wish to carry on your day-to-day affairs of life in an effective and efficient method, to succeed in the material world or to develop spiritually.

Concentration may be developed and fortified by suitable exercises, just like building up and toning the physical muscles through muscle building exercises. If you lift weights, you tone the muscles of your body. If you execute concentration exercises you tone your mental muscles.

Concentration is a really easy process, although not so simple to practice. This is because the mind is very much used to running here and there, and rejects any attempt that aims to contain and calm it down.

Yet, by suitable exercises, it’s possible to develop it and teach it to concentrate solely on one subject or object. The more time you dedicate to developing and working out the mind, and the more sincerely you practice the exercises, the stronger your concentration will become.



The Valuable Applications Of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits

application_stephen covey


What else to know about the seven habits of Stephen Covey? Let us take a look, examine and compare them for better understanding and personal development.

When presenting the seven habits to the world, Stephen Covey has very clearly stated that if a person has to be highly effective, then all the seven habits need to be employed, and in a way that he has mentioned.

In short, there is no way that you can pick and choose your favorites here. You will have to implement all of the seven habits if you want to see your life heading in a better direction than where it is placed currently.

But, why is that important? If you have paid attention to the previous chapter where I laid out the seven habits for you in detail, you may have seen that the seven habits stand quite well individually as well.

Here’s the link if you want an overview of Stephen Covey’s Timeless Model.

Each of them on their own makes perfect sense, and actually speaking, none of them wants the support of the other for implementation. You can implement each habit on their own merit.

So, why shouldn’t we do that?

The reason is that Stephen Covey has a very particular pattern in arranging these seven habits. Let us look at this pattern first and then you will understand why these habits have the greatest strength when they are put into one collective whole.

Habit # Statement Interpretation
1 Be proactive. Habit of personal choice
2 Begin with the end in mind. Habit of personal leadership
3 Put first things first. Habit of personal management
4 Think win-win. Habit of interpersonal leadership
5 Seek first to understand, and then to be understood. Habit of interpersonal communication
6 Synergize. Habit of interpersonal collaboration
7 Sharpen the saw. Habit of personal enhancement

Examining the Seven Habits

The first habit, as you can see in the above table, is a habit of making the best personal choices.

You are empowered to make the right choices among various options.

This habit makes you a person in better control of what is going on with you. You are responsible for yourself; you do not rely on anyone else to make your decisions for you.

The second habit puts more emphasis on yourself.

From merely making the right choice, you get promoted to the right leadership qualities.

You are basically a leader because you think about the end and then lead yourself and others to fulfill those goals. Whether or not you have the title of a leader, you are certainly acting as one.

The third habit teaches you the virtues of managing your personal assets and requirements.

It tells you how you can do the best with the resources you have.

It communicates us how to put everything in place so that you can get to your achievements in the best possible manner. Incorporating this habit can make you a highly efficient and self-sufficient person.

The fourth habit trains you in interpersonal leadership.

It takes the second habit one step further. It doesn’t just tell you how you can be a leader, how you can guide people towards the accomplishment of goals, but it actually tells you how you can collaborate with the right people and get to where you want to go.

It is not just about the improvement of your own ideals, but it is about success for everyone. This habit teaches you how you should seek the best in everybody and create a highly constructive force that is difficult to experience when you are working alone.

The fifth habit makes one equipped in interpersonal communication.

It tells you what the right communication strategies are. It tells that communication is not just about talking, but it is also about listening.

In fact, it tells that the greater emphasis should be on the listening part because that is what provides the input of knowledge.

The sixth habit is about collaboration.

When we learn to synergize, we are learning to focus our energies in the most constructive manner. We are gathering our forces together and partnering with the right people, benefiting in the mutual pool of talent that we create and move on towards success. Thus, the sixth habit takes the fourth habit one step ahead.

The seventh habit is again personal. It is about personal development.

It tells that until and unless we do not take care of the resources that we have with us, we will not be able to make anything of our achievements, however, big or small they may be.

It tells us that we have to preserve our health—both physical and mental—if we are to take ourselves in a positive direction. It speaks of the futility of achievement if we cannot take care of our bodies.

In conclusion, our body is the most important asset, something that validates our existence and gives meaning to whatever accomplishments we make while we are on earth.

comparing the seven habits

Comparing the Seven Habits

What is noteworthy for us to see now is how Stephen Covey has brought together various aspects of our individual and social life and formulated a beautiful model out of them, a model that is sure to lead us to greater glories in life.

We see here a perfect blend of habits for both personal and interpersonal development.

The first, second, third and seventh habits are about different aspects of personal enhancement. If these four habits are implemented, then we will be able to make our choices in life in a better way.

We will be able to be better leaders, we will be able to manage our resources in a better manner and we will be able to preserve our resources in a better way, which includes our own bodies.

The fourth, fifth and sixth habits are about interpersonal development. We are not lone beings on this planet, and neither can we hope to live alone. We have to live in society.

It is for this reason that the development needs to be interpersonal. If we want to evolve as better human beings, then we should be able to create a mutual talent pool and dip into it whenever possible. This is what we learn through these habits.

Here, we are taught how we can be better collaborators with other people, how we can lead collectively with other people and how we can be great at communicating our thoughts and expressions to other people and understand what they intend to say as well.

Thus, when all the seven habits are in place, it is a certainty that the different aspects of our lives—personal as well as interpersonal—will go through an enhancement.

Our lives can be taken to a whole new level of success. The plan is all out there. It all fits neatly like a jigsaw puzzle, all of whose pieces are intact. Only, the implementation of the plan is what is needed.

This is what we shall be talking about in the further pages. In the pages that follow, you shall learn how to implement Covey’s seven methods in different aspects of your life—personal relationships, family, career building, wealth management, health, etc.

It was  mentioned earlier about the seven habits being perfect. It is only that many people miss out on the basic meaning of these seven habits. They fail to see the larger picture; they fail to realize that the seven habits can be implemented to more aspects of their lives than they think.



How To Establish A Strong Image For Success?

strong image for success


After acquiring positive self-esteem and high efficacy and then building self-confidence, you need to build a string image so create your ideal lifestyle by realizing your full potential through confidence.

In this post, you will learn about:

How to build a strong image? If you build strong image you will now be a role model which inspires many people. Most people will admire you and you will earn respect.

How to be successful? The secrets of Success

How to build a strong self-image?

Most people without self-evidence do not have the skills or techniques of building a strong and healthy self-image. Self-image helps you achieve what you want. If you lack it, you will not be able to achieve the desired goals.

Also, you will not be able to play the game of life well because it follows strict rules most of which you acquire through experience and not being taught anywhere in the classrooms.

The following are the major strategies in which you can build self-confidence.

Take full responsibility for your life

Taking full responsibility for your life does not mean accepting responsibility for mistakes without fault.

Taking responsibility mean that you accept the good and bad things associated with you. It means being a product of your personality or anything you are associated with.

Make the right choices

The way you make your choice determines whether you will achieve the set goals or not.

Take for example if you want to lose weight.  What you day every day and every minute will determine whether you will lose or gain weight.

You have to exercise, take the recommended meals and avoid those which lead to the increase in weight. The choice of what you do every day will determine your destiny.

Move past the comfort zones

To get something good and desirable you must work hard and there is no exception to this rule.

You reap the fruits of whatever you have planted. If you want to live comfortably and relax then it will take you longer to achieve your dreams. If you work past the zones of comfort and engage in strenuous activities then you will, without a doubt, realize that which you want.

Prepare for the success

If you do not prepare for the way to react, live or behave you will be full of anxiety when you achieve whatever you want. After you become self-confident, control and manage it to ensure that you do not become over confident.

how to be successful

How to be successful? The secrets of success

In the world of today, you have to be ambitious so as to get ahead faster. If you are successful, most people will like to follow your footsteps.

Nobody would like to be associated with failed people or those who cannot bring forward any positive change.  Everyone wants to be successful but is there a formula or secret for success?

Different people propose different formulas for success but all can be summarized to:
Write down the goals of that which you want to do or undertake

You need to outline the pitfalls which lie on the way towards achieving your goal and how you should go about them.

There will always be a gap between where you are and the goal. You are the one to lay the bridge to achieving that goal that bridge is self-confidence, positive self-esteem and high self-efficacy.

Lay down the plans of achieving them

As stated above, you are likely to encounter some challenges as you move towards attaining your goal. One way of succeeding life is preparing for the future. Write down what you should do in order to attain your goals.

Work on those plans daily

After you are through with the above three steps, now you have to put your brain and body to work. You will at times be required to go against the wills of your body. You may even be required to change your lifestyle. All successful men and women are hard working.

With this, you have to work to get the good things; the bad things will just come. Hard work, dedication, and determination pay. It is what brings the difference in people’s lives. Work hard till you achieve you achieve what you want.

This three point action plan has brought positive change to the lives of many people it will also bring change to yours. Always remember that you time on anything including living on the earth is limited.


You have to be doing something, including thinking all the time to achieve something.

Success and Slow Start: The Relationship

The reason why most people fail is that they want to begin at the high point. You must begin somewhere and then progress to the next higher step till you reach the highest.

Some of the largest and most profitable companies began as a small shop or business.  What you need are vision and goals.

Some of the most success full people are not those are the sharpest and most clever. How you think and behave has an impact on whatever you will be successful.

If you want to be successful, be ready to begin from low and then go upwards without sliding backward. To move forward you must have confidence in that which you do.

Never despair or believe that all is lost. For a person with vision and goals, it is never too late.  This does not mean that you should not act early and in time. You should be vigilant to make use of any chance or opportunity which may arise.

The world presents everyone with an opportunity to succeed at some point in life if you utilize that chance, your life will change and it will never be the same again.

Do not assume that what you are doing now or that the state you are in at the moment is permanent. This world keeps on changing.

Today you are of good health, tomorrow you are sick. Today you are poor, tomorrow you are rich. Today you are employed; tomorrow you use your job.  Do not take tomorrow to mean the following day. It could mean next year, next decade or several years to come. The world is very certain.

You need to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Do not always assume that everything will go on planned or as expected.  You need to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. As stated earlier, you need to prepare for the success as well as failure.

The concept of ‘unknown tomorrow’ in life is what makes people work hard and lay down strategies for anything which may happen.

This is the reason why countries spend portions of their GDPs and national incomes to maintain the military even when it is not under threat of attack or war. Likewise, be prepared for the future regardless of whether you are in a good or bad situation at the moment.

how to unlock your potential

How to unlock your potential?

As Brian Tracy once put it

“The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good.”

The secret of success is not secret at all, it is setting goals. All the others are jut comments men and women work hard to achieve their set goals within a certain period of time.

Any activity without goals is as good as lost. If you have goals, you will always be working on how to achieve those goals even when asleep.

To set goals, you must have the capability and knowledge to set them. All goals are not workable. Do not set goals which are too easy, too hard or impossible to achieve.

The goal targets should make you active and put you to work.   Without goals, you will fly like a light paper in times of strong wind.

Because of the light weight, the paper is taken in all directions by the strength of the wind. The goals will make you proceed with life with the sharpness of an arrow.

An arrow goes towards the direction in which it has been directed. It will act on anything it comes across.


Goals are a source and avenue of self-confidence

Self-confidence and goals are synonymous when you want to realize your full potential in whatever you want to do. You will have self-confidence if you have a clear and concrete plan of action.

Some people assume that planning is only necessary for those who are in positions of authority or management or those who are rich.

You have an obligation to manage your life in order to progress from step one to the next and ultimately to where you want. Success and good things are admired by everyone.

The strategies you put in place to achieve your goals is what brings in the difference.

success_strong image

Self-improvement & Success – Hand in Hand

Everything that happens to us happens in purpose. And sometimes, one thing leads to another.

Instead of locking yourself up in your cage of fears and crying over past heartaches, embarrassment and failures treat them as your teachers and they will become your tools in both self-improvement and success.

So, when does self-improvement become synonymous with success? Where do we start? Take these tips:

Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?

When you see hunks and models on TV, think more on self-improvement, not self-pitying. Self-acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs or great abs. Concentrate on inner beauty.

When people feel so down and low about themselves, help them move up. Don’t go down with them. They’ll pull you down further and both of you will end up feeling inferior.

The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever just because you failed on a science quiz. There’s always a next time. Make rooms for self-improvement.

Take things one at a time. You don’t expect black sheep’s to be goody-two-shoes in just a snap of a finger. Self-improvement is a one day at a time process.

Self-improvement results to inner stability, personality development and SUCCESS. It comes from self-confidence, self-appreciation, and self-esteem.

Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self-improvement doesn’t turn you to be the exact replica of Cameron Diaz or Ralph Fiennes. It hopes and aims to result in an improved and better YOU.

Little things mean BIG to other people. Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things that we do like a pat on the back, saying “hi” or “hello”, greeting someone “good day” or telling Mr. Smith something like “hey, I love your tie!” are simple things that mean so much to other people.

When we’re being appreciative about beautiful things around us and other people, we also become beautiful to them.

When you’re willing to accept change and go through the process of self-improvement, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is.

The world is a place where people of different values and attitude hang out. Sometimes, even if you think you and your best friend always like to do the same thing together at the same time, she would most likely decline an invitation for self-improvement.

Always remember that there’s no such thing as ‘overnight success’. It’s always a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things that you already have now, realizing that those are just one of the things you once wished for.

A very nice quote says that, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” We are all here to learn our lessons.

When you open your doors for self-improvement, you increase your chances to head to the road of success.


Living a Life of Inspiration

inspired life


“To live is the rarest thing on earth. Most people exist and that’s it”. – Oscar Wilde

Inspirational ideas are meant to get people inspired. In this post, we look at what it means to be inspired and also empowered.

Who are inspired people?

What are the empowered?

Inspiration can change people’s lives. It can help a person to start living and realize their full potential in life.

There are so many people who live their whole lives without ever realizing their full potentials. All that these people needed was simply some inspiration to empower them.

What Does It Mean To Be Inspired?

There a number of definitions for the word “inspiration”, some of these include:

  • “A divine influence directly exerted on the mind or soul” – Excerpt from
  • “To get excited about life and to learn how to live.” -Anonymous
  • “To get passionate about something.” -Anonymous
  • “To be inspired by something or someone is to take in a new idea and literally let it change your life.” – Anonymous

Inspiration is also best defined as arousing the mind to unusual creativity and awakening the soul of a person to enable them to pursue this creativity.

Inspiration is very important. It can help a person learn how to live more positively. It impacts on the brain of an individual and has the capability of changing their whole mindset.

For example, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt.

This is a very simple yet very powerful inspirational quote. It can inspire someone who had given up on their dreams to start believing again.

This can get them to start pursuing the dream again. It also inspires people who may be pursuing their dreams but feel like they are far from achieving it. This encourages them to keep dreaming and believing.

The power of inspiration can never be underestimated. It can practically save a person’s life. Someone who may have given up on life and even contemplating suicide may suddenly turn around and start living their lives to the fullest.

The right kind of inspiration can enable you to do anything you want. You can write, be an artist, be a poet, a successful businessman, design and so much more. Being inspired will enable you to live a happy and more fulfilling life.

Inspirational Ideas

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you will never see the shadow”. Helen Keller.

Inspirational ideas normally contain an inspiration message meant to empower individuals. There are so many types of such ideas. There are some that touch different professionals while others are meant for everyone.

An inspirational idea may just be what a person needs to get started on their careers. For instance, people who rely on creativity tend to get moments when they feel like they have run out ideas.

The right of inspiration can get such a person back on track. It can also enable them to go beyond their expectations.

Inspirational ideas may also empower people to try out new opportunities and fully utilize their potentials.

inspired life

Living in Inspiration

Many of us are living a mundane life that has no meaning or purpose attached to it. While we aspire to live an inspired life where we are living each day with a purpose and the zeal to get up and live for the day, it is not usually so.

So, how does one get to live an inspired life and by doing so be a direct or indirect inspiration to others?

Realize Your Purpose in Life

One thing that we fail to do is to understand the purpose of our life and existence. Everyone has a purpose in their lives.

It is only those who have the heart to listen and the mind to apply realize this purpose and put it to existence. So, understand the purpose of your life and plan on putting it to action.

Think Positive

A positive mind is of utmost importance for an inspired life and to be an inspiration to others. If you think positive, your actions that follow your thinking are bound to be positive.

This is the basis of a universal law called the “Law of Attraction” and can be applied to your day to day activities.

By living a life filled with positive thinking, you can be an inspiration to yourself and to others around you.

Motivation from Mentors

Everyone in life has a mentor that they can look up to for inspiration and influence.

While it is not essential to living your life based on their whims and wants, your life can take new shape if you are taking inspiration from their lives and putting it to use in carrying on with your life.

Read Motivational Material

You have a lot of hidden talent in you. It is only that your mind and body should be trained to realize this talent that is hidden within you.

Only when you realize to tap this potential, you can comprehend what it is that you can achieve in life.

In order to reach this state of mind, you need to receive adequate inspiration. One method to do this is to read or listen to motivational material that can guide you to the path that you have been seeking.

Action Plan

No thought process can be a success unless you follow it up with an action plan and the necessary action. Unless your thoughts are put in motion, there is no value to it.

So, in order to live an inspired life and be an inspiration to others around you, you need to not only think about how you are going to live but also follow it up with the appropriate action.

Your life has a purpose. Understand this purpose in life and move towards this purpose living and enjoying each day as you realize this goal.

By doing so, you are living your life to the full potential and living an inspired life being an inspiration to yourself as well as to those around you.


How To Accelerate Success Through Self-Confidence?



How to prepare for this journey and accelerate toward self-confidence?

If you lack the quality of self-confidence and you want to build it, it is imperative to be dedicated to pursuing it. It will not take days or even months.

It will take some time because you have to learn how to accept and appreciate yourself. This is the journey to success and it is not easy.

Prepare your Journey

Determine where you are and where you want to go. Set your mind right and prepare yourself for the task.

Building self-confidence may require changing your lifestyle and interaction with others. If you interact with people who are self-confident you will also acquire self-confidence.

To prepare the journey you need to do the following:

Preview your achievements

Think about how your life is at the moment and what you have gained. Unless you make an assessment of what you have so far you may live in a constant worry and anxiety.

It is good if you appreciate what you have done so far or achieved even if it is not that much. Everyone must have achieved or done something at some point in life.

This is what you should be proud of even your colleagues and friends are ahead. You can jot down the achievements you have made and read them whenever you face any challenges.

Focus on your strengths

Every person has weaknesses and strengths. If you want to build self-confidence, you should focus on perfecting your strengths and improving wherever you are weak.

Link your strengths to whatever you want to achieve or do.  With the courage and appreciation of what you have achieved, you will overcome any challenge easily.

Think and focus on what is most important to you and where you are going

It is vital to think and appreciate what is most important to you and that which you want to achieve in your life.

To build self-confidence, you must set goals which you should achieve or meet within certain periods of time.

You should set those goals and they require some efforts to achieve them. Do not set goals which are very simple or not that challenging enough for you.

The goals should:

  • Exploit your potential strengths
  • Minimize the weaknesses
  • Help you realize all your opportunities
  • Be able of controlling the threats which you face


Begin managing your mind

This includes thinking before you talk or act. It involves managing your emotions, opinions, and views on something.

This will ensure that you relate with all people well including the ones you differ with in various aspects.

Commit yourself to success

To achieve anything, you must be committed. Ensure that you dedicate your time, mind and resources to build self-confidence.

As you commit yourself to success you should aim at achieving balanced Self-Confidence.

It lies in the mind of low self-confidence and over-confidence. Both low and overconfidence are not good and you should avoid them.

Low self-confidence will put in a state whereby you do not believe or trust whatever you do.

Over-confidence will put you in a state whereby you over trust whatever you do. Over confident people do not accept corrections or the contributions of others.

Self-confidence gives you sureness in whatever you do and enables you to accept reasonable criticism and assistances from others at the same time.

Over confident people do not assess the risks and opportunities of success and failure because they believe they can handle any challenge. And this is not always the case because anything can fail or succeed.

journey to success

Set Out on the Journey

This is the point where you start advancing towards your set goals.

You should start by doing and achieving the easy goals, referring to the little and simple things.

Learn to appreciate the simple things you do.

In setting out you should do the following:

Build the required knowledge for success

Look at the goals and set out clearly the skills you need to apply or what you need to do in order to achieve those goals.  You should also think about whether you can get those skills.

Think as well of feasible ideas of doing whatever you want to do. This may involve reading or consulting relevant articles and books on the issue.

Focus on the most important things

When starting, do not aim at doing or undertaking complex and challenging tasks.  Do not also aim to do something perfect.

Aim at accomplishing the simple things first. This requires patience. Thus, do not be too anxious about achieving all of them at the same time.

Set easy goals and achieve them

Do whatever possible to achieve the simple goals you have set out.

If you set out complex goals you will most likely get disappointed at the early stages because you might be pressured to achieve them. And that would lead you to fail of achieving anything.

Conquering the easy goals and accomplishing the simple ones will give you the spirit and encouragement to perform better.

Constantly manage your mind

Always celebrate and appreciate whatever you achieve and encourage yourself to perform better.

You may apply the treasure mapping technique to make the visualization better and stronger.

Learn how to handle and cope with failure

Sometimes we may not achieve our goals or that which we desire.

Some of the most successful venture took after repeated failures.

If you fail or you do not achieve your target, do not give up or get disappointed so much.

Practice the habit of taking mistakes as learning experiences and not as impediments of mishaps to success.

Likewise, learn to emerge stronger after every challenging failure.

It gives people the capacity and know-how of solving facing future problems and challenges.


Accelerate Towards Success

This is the third step towards building self-confidence.  When you have been working a lot, the strain stretches you to achieve the victory.

You are likely to meet serious challenges which are difficult to handle. You should be more committed and apply more skills in order to move towards success.

With that, do not make the common mistake made by most people of being over confident. Do not show your prowess or superiority.

Goal setting is the best tool to achieving self-confidence very easily and within the required time frame.

And here are other 10 easy self-confidence tips to wrap up:
1. Stop saying “should”

Don’t make yourself feel guilty by thinking about the things that you should have done. If something is in the past, let it pass.

Fretting over it will not improve your situation. Try using the word “could” instead of “should” for everything. This way, your actions become your choices, and you are empowered to make decisions.

2. Stop doubting yourself by default

We all have that little voice of doubt inside our heads. The trick is to learn when to pay attention to it and when to ignore it.

3. Don’t focus on yourself

If you are stressed out in a public situation, consider how the other person must feel. Go out of your way to make the other person feel comfortable.

Set yourself small tasks. Just having a task to do will make you feel better.

4. Set realistic goals

Setting goals will help boost your self-confidence. You want to set goals that are attainable.

Choose something that you can measure, rather than something that is difficult to quantity so in this manner, you will have a way to chart your progress.

5. Surround yourself with positives

If there are things or places in your life that are bringing you down, avoid them. If there are people in your life who are constantly negative, it might be time to reconsider your friendship with these people.

Surround yourself with people who are optimistic and caring, people who respect you and value you for who you are. It is easier to be self-confident when you know you have a network of supportive people around you.

6. Stop being critical

Stop comparing yourself to others with self-criticism. You will always find something that someone else is better.

You are a unique individual and not like anyone else. So, comparisons are arguable and not even necessary.

Choosing to focus on your positive traits and on other people’s positive characteristics will help you gain self-confidence.

7. Take the time you need

Take some time for yourself. Perhaps painting your nails or polishing your shoes will make you feel that much more empowered.

Take the time to do small things that are often overlooked. The time you spend will help you gain confidence.

It is important to learn that you are worth making time for. You will never be able to adequately care for another person until you care for yourself, so take the time to unwind and relax.

8. Think positively

If you find yourself thinking negative or critical thoughts, think “cancel” or “delete.” Your mind is like a computer, and you will be able to erase those negative thought patterns with practice.

Then, once you have pointedly erased that negative thought, replace it with a positive one.

Write down your best traits, abilities, and skills on a piece of paper. Then when you are feeling down you can come back to this piece of paper to remember how wonderful you are.

You can also write down five or ten things that you are grateful for each day. Remember how fortunate you are.

These assists boost confidence because it helps surround us with the positivity that is required for true self-confidence.

Try visualization to help you with achieving your goals and to help you think positively towards a sense of self-confidence.

9. Take risks

There’s no need to fake confidence if you live each day like the day before. All of that is known territory – you’ve been there, done that. The most direct route to self-confidence is to take calculated risks and examine your results.

Will you make mistakes? Absolutely, but those slip-ups contribute as much to growing your self-confidence as your victories. Particularly if you resist the urge to use them to beat yourself up.

No one gets it right every single time and to require that from yourself is self-sabotage at its best. Start with small steps outside of your comfort zone and build your confidence step by step.

10. Fake it…and Smile!

If you don’t know how to truly be self-confident, then just pretend to be confident! Self-confidence is a perception held by you and others.

If you act confident whether you feel it or not, others will perceive you as it is and be more willing to follow your lead, take you seriously and listen to what you have to say.

And smile, too. Just the act of smiling will release endorphins to the brain, which will eventually make you happy.

Acting confident will help build your confidence when you are truly confident. Have a little faith in yourself and soon you won’t have to fake it anymore.

Remember, you are going to be fine. Start building your self-confidence today so that you can begin living the lifestyle you deserve.

Make this journey worthwhile and aim to reach your destination.

And then apply the same principle to your other objectives once you have that self-confidence that would encompass other qualities that you will develop along the way.

Its rippling effect to your personal success and in other areas of your life will be incomparable to your efforts and maybe a few struggles.