Do you really need to be perfect in who you are and in everything you do? What will you do amidst imperfections? Is it okay for you to accept those imperfections?
You might be familiar with the “Accept me as I am” battle cry.
It doesn’t mean that you won’t change harmful habits because you are embracing who you are. It also doesn’t mean that you are endorsing laziness or lack of ambition.
It basically means, you have taken a look inside of yourself and seen who the person inside truly is. There are things that you like about yourself and also things that you don’t, but it all works together to become the person that you are today.
True change in your life is an act of love. You can lose weight when you love who you are right now at your current weight. Your life, self-esteem, and happiness are not tied to a number.
Anything done out of self-hate doesn’t usually last because you are always criticizing your efforts. Nothing is ever good enough because you start off not liking anything about yourself from the beginning. You’d leave your own body if you could.
There is nothing healthy about that. Imperfection says that the only way through is with love on board. Accepting and embracing you by celebrating why you are unique. It is getting reacquainted with yourself through a few steps that show the value that was there all along.
What is Perfection?
Perfection could possibly be described as the attainment of a state where you are lacking nothing. It sounds quite ethereal and spiritual. In that sense, it would be something that you would continue to strive for but never attain fully.
With spiritual goals, the journey is what brings satisfaction. With perfection, the journey is just another frustration that means “you aren’t worthy yet.”
Who wants to live like that? Several people do, whether they know it or not. For many reasons, they are not happy or satisfied with their lives. The focus is on everything outside finances, career, relationships, children, fame and the like.
It can lead to the pursuit of more goals but without an increase in satisfaction. Why? These people focus on outside stuff to validate their existence – who they are. As long as outside things can be changed, shift, or in the case of people, offer an opinion, you are standing on sinking sand in regards to perfection.
With that, learn more how to let go of perfectionism and simply love your imperfections.
You will discover below the following:
- Problem with Perfectionism
- Accept Your Imperfections
- Get Comfortable with Imperfection
- Unleash the Critic Inside You
Problem with Perfectionism
At the end of the work day, most people are exhausted and want to rest. Rest is good and recuperative. When you are on a quest for perfection, there is no such thing as rest. One is constantly in pursuit of an ideal, a quality, a body image that satisfies them via the satisfaction of others. It’s like being on a hamster wheel. This is the downside of perfection.
5 Reasons why Perfection is not a Worthy Goal
Isn’t it time you let yourself off the hook? Realistically, you can be the best you can be but perfect is subjective as well and often unattainable in most situations. Even if it is attainable in some areas of life, it is not “maintainable”.
1. Perfection drove by fear
It could be fear of being unloved or fear of rejection if you don’t maintain a certain look or attitude. At some point ask yourself, is it worth it? Does this drive for perfection elevate or diminish you as a person?
2. Perfection is frustrating
Pressure piles up like heat in a pressure cooker. You are going to blow if you don’t get some relief. Always pursuing but never achieving or maintaining can lead to strife, depression, and a wasted life.
3. Unresolved issues can fuel your drive
Instead of dealing with the fact that your parents divorced and you feel it was your fault, you strive to be perfect so that doesn’t happen to you. One doesn’t absolve the other.
4. Perfection is conditional
Love should not be. For those who feel perfection is important, you are only of use to them when you can exemplify that ideal. Otherwise, they don’t want you.
5. Love doesn’t factor into it
If you love yourself is not relevant. But, it is love that leads to acceptance and real change if you want it. Otherwise, you are running from the true issue.
Accept Your Imperfections
What’s wrong with being yourself? Nothing is wrong with it as long as you conform to what everyone else wants from you. This is not being you but a hollow version of someone else’s vision of you. Break free and learn to accept yourself as you are.
Acceptance is not Surrender
Have you read “Moby Dick”? Captain Ahab was so unhappy with himself that he pursued the white whale to kill it in hopes of killing everything that he hated about himself. That might be too deep of an interpretation but it leads to a valid point. When we accept who we are, it is believed that we are settling for less than we should. We have given up. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.
When you stop running and pursuing unattainable goals, you are forced to look at yourself. As long as you are in motion you can pretend that you are someone you are not. All of your energy is spent making people in your life believe a lie. It is thoroughly exhausting and leads to more dissatisfaction with you because you feel like a failure.
A new life begins when you stop pursuing and begin looking within for what you seek. Discover why you have been created. What does it mean to be “you”? Only time spent in reflection can answer that question.
4 Tips to Self-Acceptance
You can’t become someone else. They are already living that life. Choose the road that leads to who you were meant to be.
1. Being human is not easy
We are creatures who have made mistakes in the past on the way to discovery and will continue to do so. Mistakes keep us honest in our opinion of ourselves. No one can do it all or is expected to. When you go easy on yourself you can also have compassion for others.
2. Turn weakness into strength
What others may view as flaws can actually be what makes you so unique. Instead of trying to pretend you are put together when you are anything but, embrace your spontaneity and creative side. Any weakness can be turned into strength when you accept it as a part of you through love.
3. Choose a course
You may need to make a detour at some point or another but it takes courage to even take the first step of a life journey. You won’t go anywhere if you continue to hide who you are because others may not accept your flaws. The truth is that your celebration of your flaws makes them feel insecure.
4. Laugh at yourself
The quickest way to diffuse embarrassment is to laugh at your mistake. It takes too much energy to be mad or ashamed. You are not the first to make that faux pas and you won’t be the last. Accept it.
Get Comfortable with Imperfection
Imperfection is not the opposite of perfection as if it is a state not to be desired. Instead, imperfection is the state of acceptance of self through love. Without seeing who you truly are, you won’t know what to change and what to keep. Perfectionism just throws everything out the window.
4 Ways to Accommodate Imperfections
Here are four ways to truly be free by letting yourself live as you are.
1. Take some serious time for self-examination
Don’t be afraid to look at yourself honestly. Write down what is positive and what is negative in your eyes. Find ways to change the wording of those negatives so they are now positives that you can embrace. If you think that your ankles are big, find shoes to wear that minimize their appearance as such.
2. Discover what you like to do and don’t like to do
Don’t be afraid to say “no” to events or activities that don’t foster your interests just because it’s a “cool” or “acceptable” thing to do.
3. Try something new
Try bold colors for clothing or change your hairstyle. There’s nothing wrong with experimenting with new looks to accentuate your positives and give yourself a confidence boost.
4. Explore your creative side
Are you a “right-brained” person? Find out if you have any creative tendencies. Stimulate that side of your brain to bring out attributes you didn’t know you had.
Unleash the Critic Inside You
Have you heard the saying, “Everyone is a critic?” It’s true. And, the biggest critic of all is staring right back at you through the mirror. No one has to come down hard on you because you are already putting yourself in a vicious headlock as it is.
They say that you can talk to yourself as long as you don’t answer back. If you don’t answer back, however, the potentially negative thoughts will continue unchallenged. This is more detrimental than being thought of as crazy.
We often follow the patterns created in our minds by our thoughts. Allowing negative self-talk to dominate your mind can lead to low self-esteem, bad habits, depression and other unhealthy results.
6 Ways to Getting Over on Yourself
Don’t let the pressure get to you. Be proactive. Attack those thoughts as soon as they start to speak. Get creative.
1. Box up your negativity
This can be literal or figurative. In the grand scheme of our life, each problem holds a small place overall. Seeing it as small minimizes its power over you. Try this. Create a small box or purchase one.
Whenever you are plagued by a negative thought about yourself for the way you handled a problem or because you made a mistake, write it down on a piece of paper. Put it away in that small box. See your issue diminishing in size. Those thoughts do not define who you are.
2. Replace negativity with positive self-talk
When a negative thought is removed something needs to fill its place in your mind. Exchange a negative (“I am worthless because I am not married.”) for a positive thought (“I am a unique and worthwhile person that any man would be lucky to have for a wife.”). If the negative thoughts can keep you down, then surely the positive ones can lift you up.
3. Talk to a trusted friend
Explain the situation that made you feel so bad. Allow your friend to console you, counsel you and challenge that negative thought pattern that is condemning you.
4. Get realistic
Was the situation as bad as you imagined it was? Maybe you are embellishing the story because of the negatives swirling in your mind? Take a realistic look at you and put things into perspective.
5. Accept your imperfections
Don’t “agree to disagree” with certain attributes but embrace them as old friends. They are a part of you – the good, the bad, the ugly and the peculiar. Love who you are and then move on to making changes in your life.
6. Count your positives
It’s similar to counting your blessings. What is good about you? What have you done that is positive? Before you know it, you don’t feel bad anymore.
Don’t let that voice in your head overshadow your actual voice. Speak the truth and change your circumstances.
The pursuit of perfectionism brings pain, dissatisfaction and self-loathing. Get rid of it today.
Imperfections make you human and happy. Accept yours and then shine.
Allow yourself to be human, flawed and free by embracing your imperfect life.
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