How To Deal With Stress In Relationships?

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Relationships are strange things. If handled carefully, they can generate an untold amount of pleasure in your life. But if you stumble with them, they could spell disaster…and stress.

All the same, you can never do without relationships. We are social beings and we need to be around people. That is the reason we need relationships in our lives.

However, relationships are bound to bring stress at some point or the other. It is for that reason that we should know how to deal with this stress. Keeping one up here can really make your life much better.

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Is your Relationship Causing You Stress?

Perhaps nothing is as important in our lives as our relationships with other people.  It has often been said that a happy family is the key to success.

Much of our joy comes from our memories of Thanksgiving dinners around the dining room table or Christmas presents exchanged in the family room.  But it is also true that the relationships that provide us with so much happiness can also be a source of stress.

Mental health experts say that our interpersonal relationships can increase our stress level.

Since it is neither possible nor advisable to eliminate these relationships from our lives, we have to work hard to ensure that our relationships do not get the better of us.

This means focusing our attention on the inherent stressors within relationships, and doing our best to eliminate or at least reduce stress where possible.

One of the major stressors in relationships is a communication problem.   For instance, you may become angry at your mate because he or she fails to do chores around the house.

However, the bigger issue at stake is the fact that you feel as if your mate doesn’t really love you.

By bridging the communication gap—by articulating exactly what your needs are in a loving and supportive way—you can help ease the tension in your relationship.

Another source of stress can be a feeling that your mate is not supportive of your efforts, either at home or at work.  You may feel as if your spouse doesn’t appreciate all your hard work and effort.

This could, in turn, lead you to attempt to overachieve, thinking that, by doing so, you will win your mate’s support and love.  However, such a tactic could backfire, causing you more stress than you need.

But your relationship with your spouse may not be the only relationship that is causing you stress.  You may also be burdened by problems in your relationship with your parents.

For instance, you might feel as if your parents disapprove of your career choice, your choice of spouse, or your choices when it comes to parenting your children.  The fear of disapproval can lead to tension which can, in turn, give rise to stress.

By trying to understand your parents’ perspective, you can help smooth out the tensions in your relationship.

Also, attempt to boost your self-confidence, as far as your decision-making capability is concerned.

This will help you to recognize the fact that your parents’ disapproval will not break you—that you can learn from their criticism and can become a better person for it.

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Sibling rivalries can also cause a great deal of stress.  You might feel as if you constantly need to compete with your brother or sister—that you need to have the better car, the prettier wife, the bigger house, the more prestigious job.

If this is, indeed, the case, you might need to re-order your priorities.  Recognize that your brother or sister is a talented individual, that he or she should be respected and appreciated.

Realize that competition between siblings is seldom helpful and more often counter-productive.  Once you stop trying to openly compete, you might find that your sibling calls a halt to the competition as well.

In this way, you can both learn to find common ground—to work together rather than against each other.

In addition, you may experience stress in your relationship with one of your co-workers.  You might experience continual conflict, as you continue to disagree on the most minuscule details.

If the conflict appears to be overwhelming, you may need intervention by a supervisor in order to get your stress level under control.  The worst thing you could do is to let things simmer until they reach the boiling point.

It should be noted here that you cannot eliminate stress entirely from your relationships.  However, it is possible to minimize it.

By engaging in effective communication, trying to view conflicts from the other person’s perspective, and dealing with differences of opinion openly and honestly, you can reduce the amount of stress in your interpersonal relationships.

You may find that you are a great deal happier and even healthier as a result of such stress-busting techniques.

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Dealing With Stress In Relationships

Relationship stress is the other most common form of stress in the world today, after workplace stress.

You cannot do without relationships, but once you are in a relationship, you begin to understand that there is a great deal of stress in it.

Even if your relationship is quite good on the face of it, there is always a possibility of some friction due to something or the other. This is what can build up the relationship stress in you.

Dealing with relationship stress is not easy. You have to be careful about it at every time. The following are some things that can help you here.

  1. First and foremost, understand that the person you are in a relationship with is also a human being. When you have those little squabbles between you, place yourself in their position and see. Maybe you would have reacted in a similar manner as well. And, even if you wouldn’t have, remember that they are human beings and they also have their limitations. Just understanding this one fact can keep a lot of the relationship stress away.
  2. Even before plunging into a relationship with anyone, you should ask yourself—‘Why am I seeking a relationship with this person?’ The reason needs to be profound. If you are looking at the relationship for just fun and entertainment, then probably it is best not to get into the relationship in any way. If feelings come in the way, you are bound to get hurt. Enter into relationships only when you mean to fulfill them. There should be no ulterior motives for your relationship.
  3. One very important thing to remember is that you should not have high expectations from your relationship. At least, not in the initial stage when you are probably just trying to find out whether things will work between the two of you. You must allow nature to take its course and then see where you are headed.
  4. Do not expect to change your partner. A lot of relationship-related stress is on account of that. People try to change each other. Remember that you fell in love with this person just as they were. If you change them, you may lose your attraction for them. Wants are deceptive; you feel like you want something, but when they are fulfilled, you may try to run away from them.
  5. Do not let your emotions blind you. Be practical. This is the best way to avoid relationship stress. At every point in the relationship, think about what will work best for the two of you. Do not look at merely your selfish interests and do not pander to your partner’s selfish interests as well. If you think well before your actions, you will be happier.
  6. Work hard at maintaining the relationship. As far as possible, do not give cause for even the smallest complaint. You never know what might snowball into a big problem later.
  7. Do not keep secrets. If you are communicative with your partner, there are high chances that they will be communicative as well. This always works between two people. When you are clear and transparent with each other, the cause for clashes are fewer.
  8. Talk about your relationship with each other. This is always a very good idea, and you should never procrastinate such discussions. What, do you think, is the future of your relationship? Where are the mistakes happening? What can each of you do to improve upon them? These are the things you should talk about.
  9. Whenever an issue crops up, communicate with your partner. Do not keep things inside the heart. Instead of thinking how the other person will feel and being in turmoil throughout, it is better to come clean about what you feel and let them know the concerns you have. This is a much better solution, and when you know what they are thinking, your stress will be definitely much reduced.
  10. Do not move too fast in your relationship and, at the same time, do not move too slowly. Look at the response of the other person and act accordingly. This way, you can be surer that you are doing things correctly.

Use these ideas. More importantly, treat your relationship very cautiously and make sure not to make mistakes.

Do not expect much from your partner. That way, whatever happens, you will take it in your stride. Being practical about your relationship is the best way to avoid stress in it.

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When Couples Are In Stressful Relationship

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.”   – Pearl S. Buck

When two people get married, it means they are making a big commitment. It means they should stay with each other through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do them part.

Getting into a marriage relationship is the sign of the fullness of their deep romantic love for each other. Yet, their love for each other is tested in the course of time.

First, there would be the adjustment period. All couples go through that. There is a saying that you only get to know the person if both of you are living under one roof.

The routine of everyday life brings unrealistic expectations. Marital disenchantment comes in and it is expressed shortly just after the honeymoon fever wears off.

This is the time when imperfections can be seen. Shortcomings can be blown out of proportions.

Some eccentric behavior which you found “cute” before now becomes annoying.

Aside from your own problems as a couple, you have to deal with in-law relationships, money matters, and certain conflicts which have become the cause of your stress and anxiety.

When negative emotions and actions take over, it becomes the perfect recipe for marriage disharmony. Unless you become aware of your own hurtful attitudes or actions, chances are, you won’t do something about it.

Marriage is accepting who that person really is. We only need to practice self-control and learn not to have so many expectations.

The following tips will show you how to bring back that “zest” in your married life:

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TIPS ON PUTTING ROMANCE BACK TO YOUR MARRIAGE

UNDERSTANDING

We all need reassurance. Reinforce this by showing affection, a simple praise, hug or kiss will do. Learn to communicate our feelings to our mate.

Don’t be defensive. When you have a minor spat…say “I’m sorry.” and really mean it. The sooner you do this, the sooner your mate will stop resenting you.

LEARN TO ACCEPT

All marriages go through certain obstacles. The one that you married turns out not to be the “angel” that you envisioned or the “knight of shining armor.”

Real love takes a lot of patience.   So go beyond your illusions on what or how your mate should be. Rather, focus on yourself and start to make the necessary changes needed to improve who you are as a spouse.

MEET HALFWAY

In every situation, especially when you reach the point that you are angry, hurt, and frustrated — you have to learn how to meet halfway. In other words, you must know how to compromise or negotiate.

No two human beings are exactly alike. So settle your differences and learn to forgive each other right away. Don’t let the sun go down on you without you and your mate finding the solution.

REKINDLE

How do you refresh and fix a troublesome marriage? Bring back the love and intimacy. Work on it. Work on your marriage. Like life….marriage is not a bed of roses.

You have to work it out with your partner by investing time, love, money, and interest in each other.

Bring back the closeness by being honest, non-argumentative, and non-judgmental. Being happy together brings good mental health as well as the physical.

Yes, you and your partner should be on top of everything, be in charge of keeping the romance alive and let your marriage blossom the way it was meant to be.

 


POINTS TO REMEMBER

Is Your Relationship Causing You Stress?

  • Mental health experts say that our interpersonal relationships can increase our stress level.
  • One of the major stressors in relationships is a communication problem.
  • Another source of stress can be a feeling that your mate is not supportive of your efforts, either at home or at work.
  • You may experience stress in your relationship with one of your co-workers.
  • It should be noted here that you cannot eliminate stress entirely from your relationships.

Dealing With Stress In Relationships

  • First and foremost, understand that the person you are in a relationship with is also a human being.
  • Ask yourself—‘Why am I seeking a relationship with this person?’ The reason needs to be profound.
  • You should not have high expectations from your relationship.
  • Do not expect to change your partner.
  • Do not let your emotions blind you. Be practical.
  • Work hard at maintaining the relationship.
  • Do not keep secrets.
  • Talk about your relationship with each other.
  • Whenever an issue crops up, communicate with your partner.
  • Do not move too fast in your relationship and, at the same time, do not move too slowly.

TIPS ON PUTTING ROMANCE BACK TO YOUR MARRIAGE

  • Understanding
  • Learn to accept
  • Meet halfway
  • Rekindle

TAKEAWAY QUESTIONS

– Do you always have a smooth relationship with your partner, family, friends and colleagues?

– How do you communicate with your partner, family, friends, and colleagues?

– How do you deal when challenges in any of your relationship arise?

– Do you try to understand the person as much as possible?

– Are you willing to compromise if necessary?


 

15 Ways On How To Deal With Stress At Work

deal with stress

What would you do when stress at work strikes? Workplace stress is one of the most common forms of stress.

Those who spend more time with their works tend to suffer from stress more than the others.

The mental and emotional burden that is often attributed to the demands of work can affect your productivity and efficiency with your task that would often lead to trouble than not.

This is one reason why it is very important for workaholics to undertake stress management to avoid compromising their career.

You don’t have to be in a special place to apply stress management. In fact, you can do it anytime and anywhere if you feel like it.

You can do it while at your work desk, in the comfort room, or even out in the lobby.

The idea here is to control your mind to relax so that you can continue fresh with your task — emotionally, physically, and mentally.

In today’s times, it is very difficult not to carry some work back home. People are usually inundated with work, and that causes a great deal of stress to them.

Did you know that 7 in 10 people who have jobs claim that their work is causing them stress?

This may be your situation as well. Maybe your job is what is giving you something more than just your livelihood… it is also giving you the stress to live with. If this is happening, you are not alone.

But at the same time, there are things you can do in order to combat workplace stress. All of these things are quite doable. It is all in planning the right way and avoiding the negatives.

In order to cope with your workplace stress, you need to first accept that your job is the cause of your stress.

It is only when you come out of your denial can you overcome this form of stress. Something that is true for every kind of stress that you might face.

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Tips on Dealing with Stress at the Workplace

1. Take only as much work as you can do

For a lot of people, the stress is because they take up a lot of work, work that they cannot do.

Promotions and incentives notwithstanding, the one thing that is very important to you is your health. You should know what your limit is, and then you should work within that limit.

This is a very important point. If you just give your nod to work that you can realistically do, then you will be much happier about your job.

2. Accept work with realistic and practicable deadlines only

Many people accept work with difficult deadlines just because of the lure of money or because of the fear of losing a client.

But, if you are good at your work, you can always ask for more time to do your work. No work needs to be unrealistically chased.

At least, not at the cost of your health. When you take up work that you can easily do, then you are not only preventing stress from sapping your innards, but you are also able to provide better quality work to your clients.

3. Learn to say no

Most people cannot do that. Workplace stress actually stems from the fact that people don’t know how to say no. When you cannot refuse, you end up taking things you cannot do.

You take more work than you can handle, you accept unrealistic deadlines, you agree to help out your friends with things that they are supposed to do, you agree to do tasks for the company which you need not (such as organizing parties) and so on.

There is no harm in doing all of this if you are capable of doing it. But, most people do not have that kind of powerhouse capacity.

If you have to take up a lot of work and eventually it is going to cause you an immense deal of stress, then it is certainly not worth creating that impression of the ‘guy or gal who can do it all’.

4. Manage your time

This is one of the most important things that anyone should learn, whether they have a job or not. When you are in a job, this becomes all the more important.

When you learn how to manage your time, then you are able to fulfill your tasks in a much better way, with enough time left over for fun and recreation as well.

5. You have to absolutely learn how to prioritize things

This is extremely important. When you are able to fulfill tasks according to their order of importance, then you find the situation much easier to handle.

One way of prioritizing things is by deciding which of your tasks can help the faster accomplishment of another task.

If there is a particular task that should be done earlier so that the next task becomes easier, then follow that logical order.

6. Learn about new technologies all the time

You will be amazed to see the kind of progress that technology is making right now. This is the world of automation. There is a simple software solution for almost anything. Keep updated.

There are chances that you could use some new technological solution to make your job easier. At the same time, when you are better informed, you simply know how to get your job done faster.

7. Trust in your team

So many people build up a great deal of workplace stress just because they do not believe in the people around them. Give them their due importance.

Know that these people have also been employed by the same organization that has employed you, so you need to have at least some amount of faith in their judgment.

If there is some task that someone else should do, let them do it. Do not insist on taking it up just because you feel you can do a better job. The whole thing could actually backfire.

You may not be able to finish that and your work would be left in limbo as well.

8. Keep time for your family and friends

Never immerse yourself in your work. Always remember that you are working for your family and yourself.

Hence, give them due importance. Refrain from working on holidays and the weekends. Spend time with the family. Go out with your friends whenever you can.

All these things really matter because they take your mind off work. When you revisit your work after such brief sojourns, you find that you can attack it with renewed vigor.

9. Live a healthy lifestyle

Take care of your health. Go for a jog early morning, or at least get a treadmill. Leave only after having a healthy breakfast.

Learning a good meditation technique such as Yoga is also not a bad idea. Do not drink and smoke just because you are stressed at work. These can only give you a temporary boost.

When their effect wears off, you will be feeling more despondent than ever. Avoid calorie-rich junk foods and pile up on those veggies instead.

Have fresh fruit juice instead of coffee at work. Sip water throughout the day; it helps keep your metabolism in a good working condition.

10. Celebrate when you should, and don’t just celebrate with your people at work

If you have achieved some kind of victory at work, treat your family and friends.

This gives you a sense of self-satisfaction. When you see your near and dear ones sharing in your victory, you feel that your achievement is not in vain.

This also acts as a great motivating factor and you are able to tackle your next job with better enthusiasm.

11. One Small Step at a Time

It is impossible to remove all your stress with just one flick of a wrist. And you can safely say that your mind is not equipped or prepared to handle the effort of getting rid of your problems in one go.

If you are planning to apply stress management in your career then you need to keep in mind to take it slow.

Don’t rush the process of self-improvement if you want to benefit from it. Start first by determining the source of your stress and note them down so you can take care of it one-by-one.

Instead of ranting and raving on your fellow workmates due to your problems, you might want to take a short break from your task and take some time off to relax a little bit.

Get some fresh air or make yourself some coffee to help you calm down.

12. Learn to Relax your Mind

Relaxation is a very useful stress management technique. Having a clear and focused mind can help in dealing with problems even before they blow up on your faces.

You can relax by doing light meditation, breathing exercise, or simply get out for a breath of fresh air. Try to stop thinking about the cause for a few minutes to clear your head.

Keep in mind that there are different ways to help you relax. You can do yoga or a deep meditation exercise during your break.

If you don’t know where to start, then you can buy self-help books that detail the steps to help you get started.

If you have a ready access to the Internet, feel free to look for relaxation tips online and apply it at your leisure.

13. Indulge in After-Work Pampering

If you have some free time off from work then you might want to take advantage of this by pampering yourself at the local spa.

You don’t have to undergo a complete full-body pampering treatment just to help you relax.

A simple massage or aromatherapy session will do. Keep in mind that a massage can be a relaxation technique for both the mind and the body.

So, having one during your free time will help you relax enough to face the burden of work with a fresh mind.

14. Go to the Gym

If you want to channel all your stress to something productive and release it in one go then you might want to try coping with it at the local gym.

Stress affects you physically, mentally, and emotionally. So, it would only be best to address these three aspects in one sitting.

Going to the gym to help cope with your stress is a good idea. The instructor will help you divert your mind from your problems to the program he or she has in store for you.

You will need to focus all your mind and effort to completing the workout routine. This way, you won’t have time to think about your problems at home or office. Just focus on getting your body in shape for a better you.

Another benefit of going to the gym is to strengthen your heart from the effects of stress. Heart attack and stroke are health conditions commonly attributed to stress.

By going into a cardiovascular workout, you are strengthening your anatomy for the future — this time, you will be physically equipped to deal with it.

15. Let your Mind Have some Fun

Since stress is centered on your mind, then it would only be reasonable to divert it into something more productive and fun. Try to delve into games that require your mind to think.

Chess is a great way to stop thinking about the problem and focus more on how to beat your partner.

You can also try playing word or number games that will put your logical mind at work, like scrabble, Sudoku, word puzzles, crosswords, and the like.

This will help divert your mind from stress to help you achieve a sense of relaxation.

Make this a daily habit!

Integrate your stress management techniques with your daily lifestyle if you want to be good at it for your self-improvement project.

Doing it just because you got stressed with work is not a good way to practice stress management.

You need to keep practicing your chosen method or technique until you can do it straightaway.

Learn to relax every time when you’re at work and you will surely see that no amount of bickering with your boss or noise from your workmates will stress you out.

Keep these points in mind. Workplace stress is sapping everyone’s mind at the moment, but you need to keep this demon away.

Like with every other kind of stress, learn how to use the influence of stressors on your mind to bring about creative solutions. Do that, and workplace stress will become history for you!

 

deal stress at work

deal stress at work

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